The Final Death vs. The Chosen Death

A loss of someone you love is a terrible tragedy. A pain that cannot be comforted, and that only time and acceptance can help ease. Some losses are harder to accept than others. Some of our pain, anquish and grief is entensed by lack of acceptance from us before the passing.
When you lose someone it's permanent and life is without them until one day when we all meet again in heaven.
As deep as that pain is, there is nothing to do other than acceptance, there isn't anyway to take back or fix the relationship or speak the last words that you so desperately wish you could, it's final...
However people face loss everyday, maybe not death in the final state, but death still the same. Death to the relationship, way of life, etc.
And expect to deal with the pain and anquish and grief in the exact same manner as the death that is final, yet, it's not....
Sometimes the grief is exactly the same as if the person/relationship/lifestyle had died and been buried.
In some circumstances, I guess it's necessary to deal with it this way and it's probably the best way to heal.
But many many times, it's not!
Your chance is still there, you have to decide why the loss happened? You have to decide if the end is necessary or fair....
We aren't always given the luxury of having that choice of whether or not to fix it, as we find when we bury a loved one, but when we've suffered a loss that isn't final, it's a option to suffer.
So many times the loss is brought on by hurt feelings, or misplaced words or actions. It's a difference of opinion. It's lack of doing the right thing. But if you are still being given that option to "fix" a death that isn't final, I'd encourage you to explore what/why happened. I'd take a deep long look at my heart and ask myself what God would do and I'd think long and hard about whether or not this loss was worth the pain, anquish and grief I'm feeling.
I'd take my choice very serious. I'd start with forgiveness for whatever hurt you were caused.
Love isn't so easy to find, relationships built aren't so easily destroyed or forgotten and life is long and empty and lonely with unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment in our heart.