Who decides your happiness?

We all wait for those moments of immense happiness, just idly wait~
Somewhere in the process of becoming adults, we forgot what it was to experience real, genuine happiness. Those small childhood things brought so much happiness, getting an ice cream cone, a special day with Mom, or a loving hug from Nana. Is it the innocense of a child, is it that fresh clean slate that has never experienced real pain? Is that why children can find joy in a song you sing, or a day of baking in the kitchen with Mom or Nana, or just a special book that you read to them at nighttime?
I remember "waiting" for my happiness. I waited and waited and waited. I would experience it and then that someone that brought me happiness would suddenly decide to take it away, this happened often enough that I began to fear finding happiness again.
Depending on someone else for something is just setting yourself up for disappointment. It's self-destructive and self-defeating. Having expectations too high or low, it all sets you up to become unhappy. So instead of looking to someone else for your joys, find them yourself. Read a book in a hot tub, light some candles, give yourself a manicure. Treat yourself as you wish someone else would treat you and before long I think you'll realize that ultimately it is ourselves that make us or break us in the happiness department.
It took trials and tribulation and just absolute destitute times before I realized that someone else could not bring me happiness. It took having it all and losing it all and knowing exactly what both felt like before I could find it for myself. I remember the day I discovered that it was up to me, I was driving down a country road and through the hills I could see the sun setting, my heart raced and my body became warm. I stopped and thanked God that day for showing me where true happiness could be found. In the depths of my mind.

Learning Life's Lessons...The Hard Way~

I am constantly in the learning state, being someone who has changed their life/lifestyle I realize that daily there is something new for me to learn, most generally for the last couple years, these lessons have come fairly easy to me. This has not always been the case but when you give up some of the control in your life to someone higher, you'll find that the lessons in life aren't always so hard to come by. And the reason behind that is you are becoming more aware on a daily basis of signs and things to come because you are being lead by someone else.
Since I've been shipped to another part of the state I've been a little pouty and feeling like I was left behind in my career. A phone call from a colleage yesterday made this feeling of being left out a blessing in disquise as I learned that everyone left behind in Oklahoma was now out of a job. So today I can honestly say that instead of the punishment this seemed to be it has been validated as a definite blessing from up above.
I think there were several other blessings in disquise that members of my family were looking at as punishments also.
My cousin and I are the exact same age, we were raised almost as sisters and have almost mirrorred each other throughout life as far as life changes. Yesterday she was admitted to the hospital for chest pains. Today though she is home and ok, we have discovered that she may have some heart problems.
This goes back to a time before when i talked about not finding time to be with those you love, passing up the time to say I love you, or not making time for a visit. Today I am aware that our time could be cut short way too quickly and regrets would be all to fill the void of not having her in my life. So what seems as some sort of unfairness now seems as if there is indeed a blessing in disquise, for me so that I won't push off these opportunities and for her so that she won't just assume that tomorrow will be here. We are lucky, all of us who have the pleasure of these little warnings are blessed indeed. Sometimes we need a wake up call and if you aren't listening to the little signs, then I know for a fact that God will shake you up with some big signs just to get your attention.
So yes in all things, there lies good. Look for it and appreciate it.

Feeling Charitable?

Before you get out the checkbook, let me share a few things with you. I used to donate to what I thought were the top three charities every year. The American Red Cross, The United Way and the Salvation Army. Over the years I've heard of numerous scandals involving The Red Cross and The United Way. After 9-11 The American Red Cross has initially planned to hold back more than half of the $543 Million raised for victims of 9-11 attacks....~~~~They placed $200 million of the donations in a reserve fund planning to improve the charity's infrastructure. To those of you that generously donated, is that really what you had planned for your donation??? I know it wasn't my idea. While the Salvation Army's response to 9-11 was much more impressive, volunteers headed to NYC, without being asked, to serve 300,000 meals in the first 72 hours after the attack, teddy bears for the children and as always handing out bibles. Can I tell you that from now on, that's the only place my money is going?
Here are some statistics I found on these three organizations...Just FYI before you decide where or how much you are giving this year.

Marsha J. Evans, President and CEO of The American Red Cross...annual salary $651,957 PLUS EXPENSES

Brian Gallagher, President of United Way $432,709 base annual salary plus numerous expenses and other benefits.

John Busby, chief executive of the Salvation Army earns a yearly salary of 13,000.00 plus housing and transportation expenses.

In response to interviewer's Mr. Busby offered "I dont miss anything money can buy, I'm in the will of God, doing what he wants me to do. There's no higher purpose than that"

The average salary among charities executives is $144,521 yearly

Awww...just what I like...A christian standing up and showing us that we can still have faith in some things. I wish all top positions required that only a christian could hold OFFICE. I believe we'd all be better off.

Introduction

I would like to introduce myself...Angie Walker is my name. I recently married the love of my life. Travis and I met in 1982, when the oil boom brought him to my home town of Elk City, Oklahoma. We dated for a few short months, during which I fell madly in love and we went to my senior prom together. We seperated ways in mid summer of 1982 and I never saw or heard from him again until July 4th, 2008. We dated for a little over a year while he lived in North Carolina and I lived in Oklahoma. We are now both Petroleum Landman working for an oil and gas broker and stationed in NORTH DAKOTA for the time being.
I have 4 grown children and Travis has a grown son and a 16 year old daughter. Together we have 9 grandchildren.
We are very family oriented and are always trying to spend as much time as possible with our families. We hope to retire in a few short years and maybe open our own little business while we travel and see the world.
I write to express myself and my dream is to someday pass the amateur level of writing and publish my own book.
I'm interested in family issues, Godly issues, reading other's blogs, please recommend. I enjoy small town life and country people ways. Before becoming a landman, I was a Soux Chef and I truly miss the days of the hustle and bustle in the food and beverage industry.

What if?.......

What if...Today is the LAST Day of the Rest of Your Life

I awoke before Dawn, walking out of the bathroom this exact phrase comes to me. God has spoke to me very few times but what I've learned is that when he speaks to me, it's in a no-nonsense straight to the matter manner. Now hearing those words was not the thing I needed to hear. I went back to bed and laid there praying that today wasn't the day he was going to take me. Still I took the necessary steps to pray and repent all my sins...Around 9 am, after probably scarring my husband, I realized that what he had said to me, did not mean he was taking me home today but that he was telling me I'm missing things daily and I need to learn to live my life as if it was my last day.

I began thinking about my last days and what I wanted to have accomplished that day, hopefully in the very very far future.

The things that had been important to me, as retirement, traveling, life savings and my home, suddenly were not important at least not in the way that I had originally thought.

I thought that day of the things I would miss, my granddaughter's first prom and marriage, getting to be a great grandmother someday. I would miss the family get togethers, the reunions, sitting outside with my kids. I would miss their little texts or messages. I wouldn't have time in one day to say what I wanted to say to everyone in my life. I wouldn't have time to tell everyone good bye and there would be no more life lessons from me.

Not once did I ponder the things in my house I want to redo, or how much money I have or what kind of car I drive. I only thought of what I hadn't said to the people I loved, I thought of the times that I could've spent with them and didn't. I thought of all the missed opportunities for my family. I thought of the times I wouldn't get to cheer them on or tell them I was proud of them.

And now I realize that God spoke to me that morning so that I would not leave this earth with regrets but when that day comes, the people I leave behind will definitely know what they meant to me. If you are in my life or even if you once wore, know that I do love you and I'm proud to have been part of your life.

Pay it forward

Many years ago as a small girl I learned of blessings and what they meant. I remember patiently waiting for mine to appear as my aunt promised they would. What I didn't know was that for the blessings to magically appear you had to be in a state of mind to acknowledge the real blessings. I guess I was 17 the first time I realized this, as they lay that tiny little girl in my arms that day, I knew of complete and absolute faith, as this child was surely a miracle because I had never done anything so wonderful in my life to deserve this incredible warming feeling that I had that day. I was blessed many more times in the same manner with exactly the same reaction. Instant Love, I had never known such a thing.
As years passed the blessings seemed to have disappeared as I never felt that again about anything else and I was losing faith because of it.
20 years later I can tell you that this wasn't truly the case but that I had lost sight of what could be deemed blessings and what isn't.
In the past 12 years, I've learned to acknowledge and express appreciation for the blessings and I've learned also that without returning these blessings, the ones you receive will begin to recede. I was reminded of this yesterday as I listen to someone else's rendition of her blessings. How sad I was that I had let myself get to the state that I forgot or got too busy to watch for opportunities to bless others less fortunate than myself.
So Im writing this blog as a challenge to my friends and family that have probably also forgotten what it was like when our lives weren't so blessed. I want to look for those opportunities to help the less fortunate, to speak words of comfort or words of love to someone that needs to hear it. To seek that single mother whose heart is breaking this holiday season cause not only can she not afford the gifts her children so desire but she can't afford Christmas at all. Search for that man who has lost his family this year and must face Christmas day alone, invite him to share your holiday with your family. Ask the church to direct you to a family that needs Christmas Dinner bought for them. Volunteer at a local shelter or a food kitchen. Offer that stranger stranded a tank of gas and a hot meal. There are so many ways to help that doesn't involve monetary donations but would still mean the world to someone. When hurricane Katrina send the victims to Amarillo, I decided to volunteer to help. We were coached about how angry these people could possibly be and not to expect thanks. I can tell you that night watching them file in one by one, hungry and scared and worried, that my eyes filled with tears and my lip trembled with pity for these people. In a few days time I come to find that it wasn't that I was helping them but that these people gave me more than I could ever give them. I truly come away the better for being there. When we help someone else the feeling we get can never compare to anything else.
Let's spread it this year, Pass it Along
Happy Holidays to All.....