Giving....

Not just thanksgiving...but the rest of the year.
All year long, planting seeds. Karma comes to mind here. I think of what we do or maybe don't do.
I think of "our" part, are you doing your part? Do you give, does your heart go out to those in need, in pain?
What exactly are you giving back? Or are you just taking? The most blessed people I've ever met in my life were not those that seeked for only their gain, but those that put other's needs in front of theirs and at the very least gave back to some favor that was bestowed upon them.
I do try to do my best to acknowledge God's blessing on my life and give him credit for the position I'm in.
I know that little ole me, in all my sins and imperfections couldn't possibly bring all the glory my life has. I pray that I'm giving back as he would expect.
I also pray that those of you living well and in good health also know that you need to be thankful and acknowledge who has brought you to....employment, happy relationships and some kind of security.
Those of you that can't remember or acknowledge why your life is so good shouldn't be surprised when your ticket ends...When the job stops, when the love is gone, when the health fails. If you continously put yourself in front of others, then God will put you behind them.
If the person you love persistently cares for your every need or want and that person is put behind your every need or want, that person will stop being a productive part of your life. If your wants is all that matters to you and you can't seem to take a few minutes to think of them or do something nice for them, they may not be there for you when you really need them.
We absolutely must not think of ourselves first....God meant for us to be blessed, that was HIS plan, but he expects that in turn you will give back.
If you can't or you don't, you are most certainly NOT in HIS will.
I hope you all remember this especially during this season but more importantly all year long.

Thanksgiving....

Well, tomorrow is the day...Turkey, dressing and desserts.......
We spend a week preparing and in a few hours it's completely over.
The time to be thankful is not just now but all year long...Are we? On October 31st, did you remember to be thankful...Feb 14th, were you thankful. What about Jan 11th?
You probably didn't voice it if you were. It probably didn't cross your mind. It was just another day.

But actually it was an opportunity....We should be thankful everyday. The 30 days of thankfulness in November??? Yes I participate, but what about the other 11 months.

I'm guilty as well as everyone else, I just wonder how much more wonderful our lives could be if each single morning we woke up to something to be thankful for....
It won't always be easy, sometimes it'll be something you needed to search for. This morning I woke up to a heavy fog just dangling over our house, but I managed to be amazed of one more of God's creations and I pray that that morning I wake up and the ground is covered in 6 inches of snow I can muster the same gratitude.

Let this be a challenge that we can find some gratitude, happiness or appreciation in all 365 days of the year.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Family

Tonight I need to write....I have found lately that the words don't form. Or maybe they don't make sense in my head anymore, or maybe I really have nothing to say and I dont want to speak......

But I do...Tonight

"Some" of my children were here Saturday for our Thanksgiving celebration....sometimes I can't get over "how" very much I love each and every one, or how they could crush me with a single acceptance or distant. No one in my life has EVER been able to hurt or heal me as my children have.

For the last few years my life has been missing something....I dont think I realized how much was missing until the pieces come back together during this visit...I have a need to keep my family in tact, good or bad....but we are a family. This year has been the most together we've been in a long long time.

Its the time of year to be thankful...and tonight I can really say that I am, I feel that God is blessing "US" as I write and that maybe just maybe this part of the family may be starting the healing process.

Family is more than you were born in..we also have extended families and that is sometimes also an heartache and I pray that this year....All sides of this family will be healed and brought together.

Are you gonna do it?

I can't really say if I've actually met that middle age status of life....I'm positive some would say I have, yet I don't feel the age that I actually am. As a child, I had dreams, as a teenager I played with the dreams and as an adult, I set the goals to reach those dreams. I'm so close to the actual goals that within a finger count of years I could call success on them.

To accomplish this, I've had to stay open to what I would and wouldn't do, but never sacrificing who I was or what I stood for. I've had to work hard, I've had to stay determined and I've most definitely had to sacrifice. I didn't have the luxury of anyone helping me, promoting me and sometimes, not even pushing or supporting me. So as I'm quickly approaching that day, I have immense fear. Fear that someone else or something else, might have control in delaying that process.

After a life long of Food and Beverage experience, after 32 years of climbing that ladder and accomplishing what I had to accomplish, I changed careers to a riskier investment in my retirement. OIl & Gas, I've been a landman for 6 years, I've made it through a crash and am going strong now. Like I said I'm a finger count from reaching goals I set. But each single time, I hear of someone that can't find work in this field, I cringe. I hurt for them and I feel bad, but deep inside I worry that at some point, I'll be the person that is making that call looking for work. All I can do is pray, I suppose (And believe me, I do plenty of that)

In fact, being an oil field brat brings me the luxury of that hateful ole "gut feeling"....I have it now. I've acknowledged it and I'm prepared for it. I'm a huge believer in the "plan B" and I am now currently working on that. I appreciate this industry, I know this industry and I believe I've made a name for myself in this industry. Which means travel (much more than the job requires now) may be in my near future, this time I'm prepared and I'm ready. When and if I get that call, I'll be ready. I'm the go-to girl and I've made myself that for a reason.

I suppose that this is everyone's push....and I suppose that if it is not, you should be thinking ahead if that's where you plan on being. I would love to be sitting out by the pool with a bahama mama in my hand and soaking up the sun on a daily basis, but for now I'll enjoy it while I can, and soon I will be able to do just that. You can too, but you have to want it, you have to get out there and do what it takes, you have to want that freedom more than you want a new car payment for the rest of your life. You have to become responsible with your life. Most importantly you have to set a goal and you have to be adamant about that goal and that goal absolutely has to be your focus, even more than all those material things that your heart craves. But most importantly, you have to have determination, a strong will and of course, a strong back. Get out there and do what "you" have to do and quit waiting for someone or something else to bring it to you!

So, I know it's been awhile and few and far between since I've wrote. Seems I was doing a whole lot of whining and very little actual writing. I can't do that and be ok.

So my writing goal is always to productive and progress, to teach, to direct...and sometimes just to inform. Never, ever do I want to be a whiner.

Some time ago, I lost the ability to form sentences without preaching or complaining. So I'm hoping this attempt shall be a new one and a better one.

After much consideration I've decided my subject of discussion tonight shall be solitude. I'm an adamant believer in solitude. Everyone that knows me, seriously knows that I need my alone time (Angie Time) I'm also a mentally healthy enough person to know that I can't live on that solitude alone. I have my mornings (please at least 20 minutes for me alone with my coffee and email) And another 20 for the afternoon.
Some people are in a permanent state of solitude....they may live with you, they may see you every single day and yet are never really present. They may consider themselves loners and even make excuses why they prefer alone time. I believe in reality that this state isn't a chosen state but instead the state they  take themselves too.
It's a state of, I dont have to put myself out there. I dont have to subject myself to the daily grind (which by the way, my friend, happens to be life) If you can't subject yourself to life in general then you most certainly will not be prepared for life in general. It's a pleasant/or not part of life but to remain mentally healthy, both are required and must be faced.
A healthy, happy life requires this....So don't close yourself off to happiness by refusing to deal with life's everyday dilemma's. There's a time for solitude, just make sure you know the right time.

Pay it forward

As the new year is upon us, I've spent most of the day thinking about what we give back. The pay it forward process. Mostly I've thought about those that forget to pay it forward.
I've spent alot of time giving and helping, I've often wondered why those I have helped haven't felt the need to pay it forward. They've taken and taken and improved their life and yet in the end when they were doing ok, I haven't seen them pay it forward. I haven't witnessed or known of them unselfishly giving back to someone else. As giving as I've been, it makes me want to take back my give to them! I dont give of myself or my hard earned money for anything back, but when I know that you are in a position to help someone else that is in need and instead of unselfishly helping, you are asking something ....well that just kinda irks me. Someone else has helped you and asked nothing in return, did you really already forget that? Someone else that helped you in some way had to do without or compromise to help you in that position and they did it without question and never made you feel like you owed anything, I expect that when the next person comes along that also needs that help, why are you taking from them and not giving back what you were glad was offered to you?
You may view your new found financial place as a blessing but I can promise you that if you do not give back what was unselfishly handed to you, you will soon see your position quickly decline and rightly so. Life isn't about taking and taking and never giving back, it's about doing what's right and when you are in the position to help someone that's trying to help themselves and you refuse to because that almightly dollar in your bank account has suddenly become your priority, well then the next time you need that help (and I promise you will) You'll suddenly find yourself in that same position that the person who needs your help now is the person you are Not helping.
I will continue to help those that need help, but because I haven't seen anyone that I have helped give back, you will absolutely not be on my list, the next time you need help. If you can't pay to someone else what I have unselfishly given you, then please don't ask for my help again.
I didn't make many new year resolution other than being in the will of God and having a better heart....And I know that giving is in the will of God, but I also believe that God would like me to expect that you give back what we gave you. So I'm adding this to my list of NY resolutions.
Give back! Someone once helped you in your need, someone gave their all. Where's your All? Shame on you!