We've all been burdened with the mother's curse, right. You know the one that goes like this when you've drove Mom to the absolute limits, "I hope when you grow up you have 10 kids JUST like you" And though Mom probably didn't mean it in quiet that sense, we've all had that kid that was so much like us, we didn't know what to do with them.
My children are grown and I thought that I had truly paid for my raising, some of them made me pay more than once. :)
But today I discovered that it's not our children that's going to make us pay, it's our parents. I've realized and accepted for years that when it come time to take care of my parents that I would be the one to do it. There's only my sister and I, and with her having a handicapped child, she can't do it. Which is the main reason I moved to Duncan three years ago. My parents aren't old by any means, Mom had me when she was a month 16, and Dad is only two years older, so I expected that I'd have a few more years.
The last few months has shown me that the time is getting closer and closer, though they are tough and stubborn, I am seeing the deteoriation daily. Dad has sick been sick for about 5 years, but now that Mom is failing, it scares me. It actually scares the hell outta me.
Can I do it? Yes in a heartbeat and I will do it to the best of my ability. But getting my parents to relent and let me is a whole other issue. A few months ago my youngest daughter called me after dropping me off at the airport, Mom was driving my vehicle and had to call her to ask how to put gas into my car, it scared her and scared me. This summer I've kinda been at their beck and call, can you take us here or take us there, can we ride with you, etc. Believe me that's no problem, I will take them whereever they need to go.
But it's laid on my mind, what actually can they handle? Mom has been trying to teach Dad to order his own medicine and Dad refuses, even after Mom stating that if something happens to her what will happen. You know what he says, he says, "Angie will do it" Ok, I will and he knows it, but it dawned on me that I'm not even sure of his doctors name or what medicine he takes when. They quickly took care of that the last doctor visit, the dr. wrote me out a list of what Dad takes and when...It's safely stored just in case.
Today Mom was over at the house and for whatever reason she brought her mail in and was going through it, she had paid three utility bills recently and was getting responses from them, saying they had only received empty envelopes. Well we all have memory lapses, but Mom was mad at the mail service, thinking she didn't seal the envelopes and they had lost the checks...Ok maybe but not likely. Likely is that Mom never filled out the checks.
My dilemma is not taking care of them but getting them to relent to let me take care of them....My karma for my raising will be that I was raised by willful stubborn people and they arent' likely to relinquish control yet, even though it's obviously time for them to do so.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Indecisiveness
This week I'm officially once again unemployed....regrets rack at my being about what should I have done differently 10 months ago when I was first laid off. But patiently waiting for a life to begin that hasn't yet, altered my decisions back then and maybe even are now. But never the less....
I find that I'm torn between what is deep in my blood, the food industry or what my bank account would like me to do, the oil and gas. ThSatough I'm pulled and often think I should just make this call myself and do what I love and miss and yearn to do on a daily basis, I'm paralyzed to make that decision.
I have given it to God, I pray daily for his direction in the area HIS will will take me. So in actual preparation for that, I've had to think about 2 seperate resumes and any area that I could be called. I try to take my mind and thought out of places, states or towns that I dont think I would want to be. So in fairness, my resumes are out there in as many states, towns and places I could get them. Beings I'm here in Central Oklahoma, my walk-ins will contain me to this general area, so if I'm expected to go elsewhere, it'll take one of those online resumes getting noticed. I've left nothing out here, I've called old employers, co-workers and colleagues to put myself out there as much as possible.
I'm ready and excited to start something new. I'm ready to continue learning and moving up and only God knows what career choice that'll be, but I am anxious to begin now. I expect to start having some call backs the end of this week or beginning of next week.
I'll let you know as soon as I do... Wish me luck!
I find that I'm torn between what is deep in my blood, the food industry or what my bank account would like me to do, the oil and gas. ThSatough I'm pulled and often think I should just make this call myself and do what I love and miss and yearn to do on a daily basis, I'm paralyzed to make that decision.
I have given it to God, I pray daily for his direction in the area HIS will will take me. So in actual preparation for that, I've had to think about 2 seperate resumes and any area that I could be called. I try to take my mind and thought out of places, states or towns that I dont think I would want to be. So in fairness, my resumes are out there in as many states, towns and places I could get them. Beings I'm here in Central Oklahoma, my walk-ins will contain me to this general area, so if I'm expected to go elsewhere, it'll take one of those online resumes getting noticed. I've left nothing out here, I've called old employers, co-workers and colleagues to put myself out there as much as possible.
I'm ready and excited to start something new. I'm ready to continue learning and moving up and only God knows what career choice that'll be, but I am anxious to begin now. I expect to start having some call backs the end of this week or beginning of next week.
I'll let you know as soon as I do... Wish me luck!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Power in the words
Seems as if I've been gone from home for months now, I guess in actuality I have. I think I was "home" a total of 9 days from June up to this last week. Yes, it's been seriously neglected.
Between vacations, family reunions, holidays and more family get together and a temporary job assignment, I've been busy. I'm happy to be home, to get to sleep in my bed and attend to some long put off stuff.
My next immediate need is a new job, a new career. Working on the resume yesterday and today, I realized that to obtain the next step in my career only required rewording the job titles I have carried this far. Not a lie, mind you, it was total truth, it just sometimes depends how you speak things.
So I'm speaking things now. I guess that's what I decided today. And after I realized what the change in wording did to my resume, I looked to see whereever else I could apply that in my life.
I dont know exactly the words and I certainly dont want to speak the wrong ones so I think I'll ponder on the right placement of words before I start walking around chanting.
Between vacations, family reunions, holidays and more family get together and a temporary job assignment, I've been busy. I'm happy to be home, to get to sleep in my bed and attend to some long put off stuff.
My next immediate need is a new job, a new career. Working on the resume yesterday and today, I realized that to obtain the next step in my career only required rewording the job titles I have carried this far. Not a lie, mind you, it was total truth, it just sometimes depends how you speak things.
So I'm speaking things now. I guess that's what I decided today. And after I realized what the change in wording did to my resume, I looked to see whereever else I could apply that in my life.
I dont know exactly the words and I certainly dont want to speak the wrong ones so I think I'll ponder on the right placement of words before I start walking around chanting.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Commitment
It's been so long since I've wrote I often wonder if I still can. But tonight I want to touch on commitment and what it means to each of us as individualts.
I grew up in a home that was determined that I would get a education. I understood that neither of my parents were educated people, even at a young age. And some part of me appreciated, or totally accepted that going to school and receiving an education was going to part of my life, regardless of how many times I tried to rebel.
Then again, I have to touch on that. I was a rebel at heart. I can't explain, I can't justify it, I just was. But did I get an education, yes I did?
I did the minimal to get out of high school, but once "I" decided to start college, it was then my money and my failure. I dont think I realized how smart I was until college, but doing nothing less than my best was not acceptable. Three kids at home, a full time job and college is hard to conquer. The rebel in me kept me going. When life handed me things I could no longer handle emmotionally, I relented to my heart. But as bad as that may sound, I needed that healing time and I probably excelled more after that than any other period of my life. I found "me", and believe me I was "lost", completely and absolutely LOST.
Since that period in my life I'm not sure I've ever relented again, though there were many times in my life it didn't feel like I was conquering or achieving, I do believe I was. I committed to do what it took to get those kids raised and to be great adults. And though they are far from perfect, I'd compare them to anyone else's in a heartbeat.
So I found in my 30's that commitment come easy to me, it was a matter of applying yourself to the situation you wished to be committed to. It didn't always meaning giving your all, it didn't mean that everything was perfect, and most of all it didn't necessarily mean that you had to give up who you were, it meant to never quit. To never run, walk or turn away, but to face the matter head on with the knowledge that you "could" and "would" do this, whatever the situation was.
Being committed has come easy to me in the later part of my life, my jobs, my family, my children, and any decision I tried to make. Though I may not have the life that most of us have dreamed of or wanted, I've mostly excelled in my life but only because I chose to never give up.
I grew up in a home that was determined that I would get a education. I understood that neither of my parents were educated people, even at a young age. And some part of me appreciated, or totally accepted that going to school and receiving an education was going to part of my life, regardless of how many times I tried to rebel.
Then again, I have to touch on that. I was a rebel at heart. I can't explain, I can't justify it, I just was. But did I get an education, yes I did?
I did the minimal to get out of high school, but once "I" decided to start college, it was then my money and my failure. I dont think I realized how smart I was until college, but doing nothing less than my best was not acceptable. Three kids at home, a full time job and college is hard to conquer. The rebel in me kept me going. When life handed me things I could no longer handle emmotionally, I relented to my heart. But as bad as that may sound, I needed that healing time and I probably excelled more after that than any other period of my life. I found "me", and believe me I was "lost", completely and absolutely LOST.
Since that period in my life I'm not sure I've ever relented again, though there were many times in my life it didn't feel like I was conquering or achieving, I do believe I was. I committed to do what it took to get those kids raised and to be great adults. And though they are far from perfect, I'd compare them to anyone else's in a heartbeat.
So I found in my 30's that commitment come easy to me, it was a matter of applying yourself to the situation you wished to be committed to. It didn't always meaning giving your all, it didn't mean that everything was perfect, and most of all it didn't necessarily mean that you had to give up who you were, it meant to never quit. To never run, walk or turn away, but to face the matter head on with the knowledge that you "could" and "would" do this, whatever the situation was.
Being committed has come easy to me in the later part of my life, my jobs, my family, my children, and any decision I tried to make. Though I may not have the life that most of us have dreamed of or wanted, I've mostly excelled in my life but only because I chose to never give up.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Summer Fun....
June was an exceptionally busy month, and though I'm happy to be home. I find myself still away "in my dreams" Maybe that's the best way to handle the reality I'm having to face right now.
We started June with a Carnival Cruise to Jamaica and Cayman Islands. I never knew or expected what freedom the ocean would bring. I loved every minute of it. Fantastic food, entertainment and most of all the serene peaceful moments I experienced...just daydreaming and sitting under the sky on the top deck. I met a Jamaican Spice Lady and brought home some geniune Jamaican spices that I've yet to try in some recipes. I'm ready to go on another cruise now and am already looking for maybe a December cruise. We were stranded for 2 days in Ft. Lauderdale on the way back and though I call it stranded, we stayed at a nice motel with an awesome floridian setting poolside. So I guess all in all, it wasn't too bad being stranded. :)
The following week after arriving from the cruise, it was time to go to the family reunion. Where we spent 12 excessively hot days. This heat called for lots of beer drinking, water fun and misters under the awnings. But even with temps over 100 degrees every day, I enjoyed spending precious time with my family members. I miss waking up and drinking coffee with everyone.
I thought that July might be boring compared to June but it's becoming apparent very quickly that it's going to be another busy month. I landed a part time assignement that will probably take between a month or two, and also have a possible opportunity to buy that restuarant I've always wanted. There's still details to be figured out there, it's a dream I've always had but without really knowing what career leads my husband is coming to, I can't say nothing is for certain right now. Anyway, Chelsea and I are heading for a big 4th at David and Connie's. Out to Elk Park for fireworks and then the pond at their place for some beer drinking and water fun on the pond.
Well, just wanted to catch everyone up on what's been happening with me. Maybe sometime soon I can actually write something again.
We started June with a Carnival Cruise to Jamaica and Cayman Islands. I never knew or expected what freedom the ocean would bring. I loved every minute of it. Fantastic food, entertainment and most of all the serene peaceful moments I experienced...just daydreaming and sitting under the sky on the top deck. I met a Jamaican Spice Lady and brought home some geniune Jamaican spices that I've yet to try in some recipes. I'm ready to go on another cruise now and am already looking for maybe a December cruise. We were stranded for 2 days in Ft. Lauderdale on the way back and though I call it stranded, we stayed at a nice motel with an awesome floridian setting poolside. So I guess all in all, it wasn't too bad being stranded. :)
The following week after arriving from the cruise, it was time to go to the family reunion. Where we spent 12 excessively hot days. This heat called for lots of beer drinking, water fun and misters under the awnings. But even with temps over 100 degrees every day, I enjoyed spending precious time with my family members. I miss waking up and drinking coffee with everyone.
I thought that July might be boring compared to June but it's becoming apparent very quickly that it's going to be another busy month. I landed a part time assignement that will probably take between a month or two, and also have a possible opportunity to buy that restuarant I've always wanted. There's still details to be figured out there, it's a dream I've always had but without really knowing what career leads my husband is coming to, I can't say nothing is for certain right now. Anyway, Chelsea and I are heading for a big 4th at David and Connie's. Out to Elk Park for fireworks and then the pond at their place for some beer drinking and water fun on the pond.
Well, just wanted to catch everyone up on what's been happening with me. Maybe sometime soon I can actually write something again.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Explotation
I was watching some tv crime show tonight, the plot was charging a young girl with "sexting". What I can't figure out is why "sexting" would be a chargable crime, yet exploiting yourself online, or in magazines doesn't carry the same crime charge.
Ok, let's just go with online exploitation...How come that's ok, but doing the same thing over your phone isn't? Isn't it the exact same thing?
You can post scandolous pics of yourself online on the internet, but you can't through your phone?
Dont get me wrong, I think it's all a crime. I'm just analyzing who makes these rules.
In my day, it was all porn, if you put yourself out there in what today measures as classy, it was scandolous, it was porn plain and simple. Now society has allowed so much sexual deviousness that almost nothing is considered porn, unless you are actually doing the act.
The saddest part of this is that someone out there is trying to gain some self-esteem, self-expression, or something that is ONLY going to come back to haunt them. They think for the moment, wow I look good or maybe it gains them a little attention, but in the end it's negative attention and will, in the end, do them more damage than good.
Our judicial system is so screwed up that we are charging the wrong people....The girls that exploit themselves in that way need some serious mental help and we won't give that to them in a jail cell. The mothers should of and if they didn't, they should do something now. And if that's not going to happen, where's our judicial system working. I dont think this lies in the area of free speech, expression whatever. Whatever happened to parents and authority making people do what's right?
Ok, let's just go with online exploitation...How come that's ok, but doing the same thing over your phone isn't? Isn't it the exact same thing?
You can post scandolous pics of yourself online on the internet, but you can't through your phone?
Dont get me wrong, I think it's all a crime. I'm just analyzing who makes these rules.
In my day, it was all porn, if you put yourself out there in what today measures as classy, it was scandolous, it was porn plain and simple. Now society has allowed so much sexual deviousness that almost nothing is considered porn, unless you are actually doing the act.
The saddest part of this is that someone out there is trying to gain some self-esteem, self-expression, or something that is ONLY going to come back to haunt them. They think for the moment, wow I look good or maybe it gains them a little attention, but in the end it's negative attention and will, in the end, do them more damage than good.
Our judicial system is so screwed up that we are charging the wrong people....The girls that exploit themselves in that way need some serious mental help and we won't give that to them in a jail cell. The mothers should of and if they didn't, they should do something now. And if that's not going to happen, where's our judicial system working. I dont think this lies in the area of free speech, expression whatever. Whatever happened to parents and authority making people do what's right?
Hello Again....
Wow, it's been so long since I wrote....I've just been busy. Either the house, grandkids or something has kept me at bay. And I dont have that many followers so it's all good.
I really do have so much to write about and so little organization ...I hope that makes sense right now.
I've been busy with the family cookbook (which has finally gone to print), I've spent time with my husband and getting that house ready. And now I'm home again, Travis will be here next week. Next Saturday we leave for the cruise, it's a long overdue honeymoon for us but since we are going with Darrell and Sarah, it'll be even more fun. I'm excited, I can't wait to look out over the sea with the man that I love. I think this will be ONE of our best memories.
A week after we return, we have the family reunion, 9 whole days RV'ing. Travis and I haven't had much opportunity to use that RV and I'm pretty excited about that too. I'm a lake kinda person, fishing, swimming, whatever, I love how being at the lake feels.
I've had the oldest grandbabies for the last week, makes me miss being a momma all the time and grateful that mine are grown at the same time. But it's been alot of fun. It's nice waking up ad having someone there. I'm amazed at how well the kids adapt to being at Nana's all the time, only when I dont give them their way do they voice wanting to go home (LOL) Most of the day, they are fine though.
So anyway, after June I dont really know what Travis and I will do. Who knows, maybe we will go back on the road again. Construction, Oil and Gas...Life is unpredictable right now.
Just wanted to check in with everyone. Talk to you soon.
I really do have so much to write about and so little organization ...I hope that makes sense right now.
I've been busy with the family cookbook (which has finally gone to print), I've spent time with my husband and getting that house ready. And now I'm home again, Travis will be here next week. Next Saturday we leave for the cruise, it's a long overdue honeymoon for us but since we are going with Darrell and Sarah, it'll be even more fun. I'm excited, I can't wait to look out over the sea with the man that I love. I think this will be ONE of our best memories.
A week after we return, we have the family reunion, 9 whole days RV'ing. Travis and I haven't had much opportunity to use that RV and I'm pretty excited about that too. I'm a lake kinda person, fishing, swimming, whatever, I love how being at the lake feels.
I've had the oldest grandbabies for the last week, makes me miss being a momma all the time and grateful that mine are grown at the same time. But it's been alot of fun. It's nice waking up ad having someone there. I'm amazed at how well the kids adapt to being at Nana's all the time, only when I dont give them their way do they voice wanting to go home (LOL) Most of the day, they are fine though.
So anyway, after June I dont really know what Travis and I will do. Who knows, maybe we will go back on the road again. Construction, Oil and Gas...Life is unpredictable right now.
Just wanted to check in with everyone. Talk to you soon.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Chopped....
Probably not many of you watch this show...I'm addicted to it. I love a F&B challenge, the adrenaline rushing, the madness, the kaos. I live for it and it brings a high like no other I've ever known.
In my grand fantasies I can see me competing (Ok, not really, I know I would bust my ass) But it does take me back to the time that Serena and I challenged other fellow chefs in the big city of Amarillo and it wasn't about winning or losing but just about being there in the moment. We took many first prizes and sometimes we didn't but either way, we felt excelled after the competitions. Man, how I miss that!
In my grand fantasies I can see me competing (Ok, not really, I know I would bust my ass) But it does take me back to the time that Serena and I challenged other fellow chefs in the big city of Amarillo and it wasn't about winning or losing but just about being there in the moment. We took many first prizes and sometimes we didn't but either way, we felt excelled after the competitions. Man, how I miss that!
For weeks now I've been saying I needed to get away...Wyoming has been calling me...Just a few days ago, three years ago, we left my Dad's ashes on a mountain...I miss him terribly
Though I know I can't get Dad back, I need to visit his town. I feel the need. Last time I was there, pain took over every other emotion I had, knowing that in a few short days, my brother and sister and I, would leave Dad spread upon a mountain. I just want to visit there, to drink coffee with those that used to share that moment with Dad in the local cafe, to drink a beer there with those that used to share a beer with Dad in the local tavern. I know it won't bring Dad back but he definitely left his mark there and I would like to re-visit the town and say thanks to those that kept Dad company, to those that watched out for him and treated him like family.
I texted my brother tonight and hopefully he can get away and meet me there. I'm going home to see Dad
Though I know I can't get Dad back, I need to visit his town. I feel the need. Last time I was there, pain took over every other emotion I had, knowing that in a few short days, my brother and sister and I, would leave Dad spread upon a mountain. I just want to visit there, to drink coffee with those that used to share that moment with Dad in the local cafe, to drink a beer there with those that used to share a beer with Dad in the local tavern. I know it won't bring Dad back but he definitely left his mark there and I would like to re-visit the town and say thanks to those that kept Dad company, to those that watched out for him and treated him like family.
I texted my brother tonight and hopefully he can get away and meet me there. I'm going home to see Dad
Friday, April 10, 2009
The ultimate ultimatum...
I hate ultimatums....I hate receiving and giving them. I do think they are a necessary action in our lives though. My aunt used to tell me to be sure when giving an ultimatum that you were ready for whatever the outcome. I've headed those words very seriously my entire life, which is why I almost never issue one. But there are times when you've tried everything else in your power and you are at that spot that finally you have to make a stand. Maybe it's not actually an ultimatum but it still feels like one. You have to say what's ok, what's acceptable and what needs to happen.. I think to get to this point, you are at that crossroads, there are only two ways to go. If you've issued that ultimatum, you know that either answer will be acceptable, you just need one to move forward in the direction you need to, and you feel that someone is keeping you at that crossroads.
I've wrote previous blogs about letting someone else make decisions in your life and I guess this is an extension of that. You are at that point where you are giving them once last option~~~
I know many people that need to get here. Need to find that ultimatum in their life. It's not giving them an ultimatum really, it's about deciding that if you can't receive what you feel you need, then you make the other choice. You know, "you can live with it, or you can leave it" Too often the person stays and becomes beat down, before long you find yourself changing your priorities, doubting your self-worth, your dreams, your wants. This is not healthy and in time it'll end anyway, if that person can't love you for who you are, good and bad, eventually if you dont stand up, you'll change into who you think they want you to be. But your life will be filled with resentment, self-loathing, anger and possibly hate because you no longer know who you are...And you can't find happiness
The ultimate ultimatum is what you are giving up within yourself, that's the highest price tag there is....and the hardest one to cash back in on.
"If you can stand for something, you'll fall for anything"
I've wrote previous blogs about letting someone else make decisions in your life and I guess this is an extension of that. You are at that point where you are giving them once last option~~~
I know many people that need to get here. Need to find that ultimatum in their life. It's not giving them an ultimatum really, it's about deciding that if you can't receive what you feel you need, then you make the other choice. You know, "you can live with it, or you can leave it" Too often the person stays and becomes beat down, before long you find yourself changing your priorities, doubting your self-worth, your dreams, your wants. This is not healthy and in time it'll end anyway, if that person can't love you for who you are, good and bad, eventually if you dont stand up, you'll change into who you think they want you to be. But your life will be filled with resentment, self-loathing, anger and possibly hate because you no longer know who you are...And you can't find happiness
The ultimate ultimatum is what you are giving up within yourself, that's the highest price tag there is....and the hardest one to cash back in on.
"If you can stand for something, you'll fall for anything"
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Spare me....
Beer drinking bitching, whining, ranting and raving blog...Your only warning.
I dont know if I should start from best to worse or vice versa...I guess the order won't matter and the shit I omit, well you'll just get the idea...I guess
My dog Paulette has decided to sleep most of the day and wake up around..oh I'd say between 3 and 3:30 am....and howl til I come back into the livingroom. I dont sleep much and not all that soundly so the last thing I need is this...As of this moment, she's over there on the couch trying to snooze. Every few minutes I have to say her name REALLY LOUDLY...The bitch aint' gonna keep me away tonight....And while Im at it, since she's returned from her little adventure last week, she has suddenly decided that every time I go to the bathroom to potty, she will too. She sits outside the door and watches me and then readys' herself to proceed with the deed. Now I'm a little old and had too many children to just cut something off in mid-stream, but she's forcing me...I dont think this is too cute though Im sure many of you find it humorous.
I've had a cruise planned for several months, I had thought that since I had only paid the deposit that with the economy and me being unemployed that I would just for go it right now...only to find Monday while checking my account, that it was too late, the travel agent had already taken care of it.
Well if I'm going on this cruise I have to have a passport, so I head to the court house, then to get a passport photo. Walgreen's or Walmart. Hell, I do not want to screw with Walmart right now. I'll run to Walgreens, I've only got about an hour before the court house closes. The damn photo department is down for maintenance, I basically force the man hiding behind the computers to acknowledge and ask when it might be done. He says 3-4 hours. I ask how long it'll take to get a photo, he says 5 minutes. Ok, well it's not gonna happen today. I go to Walmart, the photo store, man that woman is hiding too. I force her to talk to me only to hear, "Mam, we are closed til 3 pm (It's almost that time?) I said, "Oh, you are?" She replies in her most smartassedly (I dont care if that's a word or not) "Ummm, yeah, that's what the sign says, isn't it?"
I just glare at her. I'm running on empty here, no tolerance left for your walmart photo shooting ass. I'm sleepy, i gotta shampoo carpets and someone took 2100.00 outta my account without my permission, today is not the day to test to see if I took my menopausal MEDICINE!
Screw it, I'll try this again tomorrow. I stop at the store for beer! Yeah Beer!
Tomorrow's a new day right?
So today I head back to Walgreen's, guess what, yep the photo lab is STILL DOWN FOR MAINTENANCE! I have no choice, I have to go to Walmart, walk up to the lab. "Ummm, can I help you mam?" I feel like responding, well I'd hate to put your little minimum wage paid ass out but if I'm a bother, dont worry about it, I'll take names and call your management.
Instead I said "Yes, I need to get a passport photo" She comes back with "I can't do that til after 3"
Are you friggin kidding me? Seriously, two days in a row, I manage to come in at her lunch hour. She definitely could missed 5 minutes of her lunch. Hell, maybe the entire lunch hour wouldn't have hurt her. Ok, I know. That's shitty of me, sorry. I aint' leaving Wal-Mart til I've got a mug shot today, so I can pick up a few things while Im here, taking my time to kill a friggin hour. I returned at 3 pm....With a look of disgust on her face, "Mam, can I do something for you?"
I smiled......"I need a passport photo" For a full ten minutes she totally didn't acknowledge that I was standing there, that I had even spoken to her. What she didn't know or expect was that I am a very stubborn person, I calmly picked up one of business cards, took my sweet time studying the details, fished in my purse for my wallet and inserted it protectively. "Ok, mam, if you would like to step inside, I can get that for you" She proceeded with wanting to know where I was going, how lucky I was, blah blah blah. I had never seen a more pleasant person in my life. My passport photo shows the extreme shock of how someone turned in a moment of picking up a card from jeckl to Hyde.
Returning to the court house, I now only have about 25 minutes to get this done before they close, I realize I dont know what city my husband was born in...Well, we've only been married a few months and it just hasn't come up. I texted, I msg'ed, No response. Why do they need to know that anyway? The girl finally said i think just the state will do, I at least knew that. If my passport is rejected because he didn't return my call, well then....
I ran through Taco Bell or Mayo, or whatever it is, and was met with the friendliest set of people I've ever encountered. ???Yeah, I was totally shocked, these people went out of their way to be nice to me, to make me feel they appreciated my business. Hell, I'm only buying a Taco! Hell, yeah! I felt like leaving them all a outrageous tip. I definitely have to write Taco Bell.
I didn't just wake up in a bad mood today, Ive just had a really shitty couple weeks. Today just enhanced it. I arrived home, put up groceries, dipped the dog for fleas, cleaned my kitchen, all that stuff.
My oldest granddaughter chatted with me on messenger, telling me that "I" was her favorite person in the whole world. Then Liza called, she's not old enough to officially have a conversation but it's fun just the same. Paulette (my dog) chewed up her pacifier the other day and Jenn decided it might be the appropriate time to go ahead and break her. So everytime Liza is looking for her "mama", they remind her that Paulette ate it. On the phone, Liza very clearly was telling me that Pollie was a beckel (that means bad girl) and then after yelling about Paulette, she sweetly whispered "Nana, I want some mo canny (candy)" The horrible day I had totally slipped away between those two girls and the Taco Bell Team. Thanks you guys!
I dont know if I should start from best to worse or vice versa...I guess the order won't matter and the shit I omit, well you'll just get the idea...I guess
My dog Paulette has decided to sleep most of the day and wake up around..oh I'd say between 3 and 3:30 am....and howl til I come back into the livingroom. I dont sleep much and not all that soundly so the last thing I need is this...As of this moment, she's over there on the couch trying to snooze. Every few minutes I have to say her name REALLY LOUDLY...The bitch aint' gonna keep me away tonight....And while Im at it, since she's returned from her little adventure last week, she has suddenly decided that every time I go to the bathroom to potty, she will too. She sits outside the door and watches me and then readys' herself to proceed with the deed. Now I'm a little old and had too many children to just cut something off in mid-stream, but she's forcing me...I dont think this is too cute though Im sure many of you find it humorous.
I've had a cruise planned for several months, I had thought that since I had only paid the deposit that with the economy and me being unemployed that I would just for go it right now...only to find Monday while checking my account, that it was too late, the travel agent had already taken care of it.
Well if I'm going on this cruise I have to have a passport, so I head to the court house, then to get a passport photo. Walgreen's or Walmart. Hell, I do not want to screw with Walmart right now. I'll run to Walgreens, I've only got about an hour before the court house closes. The damn photo department is down for maintenance, I basically force the man hiding behind the computers to acknowledge and ask when it might be done. He says 3-4 hours. I ask how long it'll take to get a photo, he says 5 minutes. Ok, well it's not gonna happen today. I go to Walmart, the photo store, man that woman is hiding too. I force her to talk to me only to hear, "Mam, we are closed til 3 pm (It's almost that time?) I said, "Oh, you are?" She replies in her most smartassedly (I dont care if that's a word or not) "Ummm, yeah, that's what the sign says, isn't it?"
I just glare at her. I'm running on empty here, no tolerance left for your walmart photo shooting ass. I'm sleepy, i gotta shampoo carpets and someone took 2100.00 outta my account without my permission, today is not the day to test to see if I took my menopausal MEDICINE!
Screw it, I'll try this again tomorrow. I stop at the store for beer! Yeah Beer!
Tomorrow's a new day right?
So today I head back to Walgreen's, guess what, yep the photo lab is STILL DOWN FOR MAINTENANCE! I have no choice, I have to go to Walmart, walk up to the lab. "Ummm, can I help you mam?" I feel like responding, well I'd hate to put your little minimum wage paid ass out but if I'm a bother, dont worry about it, I'll take names and call your management.
Instead I said "Yes, I need to get a passport photo" She comes back with "I can't do that til after 3"
Are you friggin kidding me? Seriously, two days in a row, I manage to come in at her lunch hour. She definitely could missed 5 minutes of her lunch. Hell, maybe the entire lunch hour wouldn't have hurt her. Ok, I know. That's shitty of me, sorry. I aint' leaving Wal-Mart til I've got a mug shot today, so I can pick up a few things while Im here, taking my time to kill a friggin hour. I returned at 3 pm....With a look of disgust on her face, "Mam, can I do something for you?"
I smiled......"I need a passport photo" For a full ten minutes she totally didn't acknowledge that I was standing there, that I had even spoken to her. What she didn't know or expect was that I am a very stubborn person, I calmly picked up one of business cards, took my sweet time studying the details, fished in my purse for my wallet and inserted it protectively. "Ok, mam, if you would like to step inside, I can get that for you" She proceeded with wanting to know where I was going, how lucky I was, blah blah blah. I had never seen a more pleasant person in my life. My passport photo shows the extreme shock of how someone turned in a moment of picking up a card from jeckl to Hyde.
Returning to the court house, I now only have about 25 minutes to get this done before they close, I realize I dont know what city my husband was born in...Well, we've only been married a few months and it just hasn't come up. I texted, I msg'ed, No response. Why do they need to know that anyway? The girl finally said i think just the state will do, I at least knew that. If my passport is rejected because he didn't return my call, well then....
I ran through Taco Bell or Mayo, or whatever it is, and was met with the friendliest set of people I've ever encountered. ???Yeah, I was totally shocked, these people went out of their way to be nice to me, to make me feel they appreciated my business. Hell, I'm only buying a Taco! Hell, yeah! I felt like leaving them all a outrageous tip. I definitely have to write Taco Bell.
I didn't just wake up in a bad mood today, Ive just had a really shitty couple weeks. Today just enhanced it. I arrived home, put up groceries, dipped the dog for fleas, cleaned my kitchen, all that stuff.
My oldest granddaughter chatted with me on messenger, telling me that "I" was her favorite person in the whole world. Then Liza called, she's not old enough to officially have a conversation but it's fun just the same. Paulette (my dog) chewed up her pacifier the other day and Jenn decided it might be the appropriate time to go ahead and break her. So everytime Liza is looking for her "mama", they remind her that Paulette ate it. On the phone, Liza very clearly was telling me that Pollie was a beckel (that means bad girl) and then after yelling about Paulette, she sweetly whispered "Nana, I want some mo canny (candy)" The horrible day I had totally slipped away between those two girls and the Taco Bell Team. Thanks you guys!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Thinking outloud....
I probably (Ok yes I do) do this too much. But for me it's the only way I know...I've never been one to harbor thoughts or opinions for someone else's sake. I need to say what I need to say. It's complete freedom for me and I dont need to harbor these thoughts in the back of my mind and alter who I really am or what I really want. I'm just better with it all being out there.
My niece Tiff come to spend the weekend with me, we didn't get to go fishing as we had planned because Hell, I live in Oklahoma and the weather can change from one second to the next...And change it did, we had a dusting of snow, while the rest of Oklahoma had snow banks and icicles. (So, see there are always things to be thankful for) But still I regret we didn't get to fish, both of us were really looking forward to it and even though we had an enjoyable weekend, this is one that we will definitely have to make up.
My dog Paulette ran away or got stolen and it totally breaks my heart. I feel so bad. I really did need her in my life. And I had just bought her new clothes and toys! Dammit!
I really really really miss my husband, he's been there for over a month and I am very sad without him. I'm ready to go out there but he wants me to wait for the kitchen to be finished (Haha, guess what he likes about me?)
And well since I'm unemployed, can't be with my husband I was thinking that tomorrow I could get up and drive....A road trip has been forming for months. My only regret is that I dont have a truck that would haul the RV...But I can still manage. I feel the ocean has been calling me. I have seen the west coast and it's beautiful, I have seen the coast of Texas, I haven't officially seen the east coast but with my husband having a place out there i'm sure I'll eventually see plenty of it...So maybe I should just drive west....I could drive til I was tired of driving and with no destination in mind, I have no deadlines to meet. Maybe see some of Arizona, maybe some of Vegas (LOL) Ok well maybe some of Nevada. I just know that I'm idle at the moment and I dont do idle very well. So dont be surprised if sometime next week my blogs are coming from another state>
My niece Tiff come to spend the weekend with me, we didn't get to go fishing as we had planned because Hell, I live in Oklahoma and the weather can change from one second to the next...And change it did, we had a dusting of snow, while the rest of Oklahoma had snow banks and icicles. (So, see there are always things to be thankful for) But still I regret we didn't get to fish, both of us were really looking forward to it and even though we had an enjoyable weekend, this is one that we will definitely have to make up.
My dog Paulette ran away or got stolen and it totally breaks my heart. I feel so bad. I really did need her in my life. And I had just bought her new clothes and toys! Dammit!
I really really really miss my husband, he's been there for over a month and I am very sad without him. I'm ready to go out there but he wants me to wait for the kitchen to be finished (Haha, guess what he likes about me?)
And well since I'm unemployed, can't be with my husband I was thinking that tomorrow I could get up and drive....A road trip has been forming for months. My only regret is that I dont have a truck that would haul the RV...But I can still manage. I feel the ocean has been calling me. I have seen the west coast and it's beautiful, I have seen the coast of Texas, I haven't officially seen the east coast but with my husband having a place out there i'm sure I'll eventually see plenty of it...So maybe I should just drive west....I could drive til I was tired of driving and with no destination in mind, I have no deadlines to meet. Maybe see some of Arizona, maybe some of Vegas (LOL) Ok well maybe some of Nevada. I just know that I'm idle at the moment and I dont do idle very well. So dont be surprised if sometime next week my blogs are coming from another state>
The next step..
As I sit here on a chilly, not so sunny and cheerful Sunday morning, I try to re-group my thoughts and feelings. The crossroads in life do that to us. That moment that your previous thoughts fall to the way side. And it may only be one small, simple little thing that brought this about, but sitting there waiting for something to happen will not get you prepared to begin the next journey.
So many of us have a plan, we build our careers, buy our homes and raise our families. We expect that tomorrow morning, our job will be there, our home will be safe and our children will grow up to be productive respectful citizens. Many of us now are having to face that in the morning we may not be going to work, there may be no work. For those who have already passed the worry stage and havent worked in a very long time, we are now wondering about the stability of what we call home, our childrens college funds, and our retirment package.
Now is the time to re-group. Maybe we wont retire at 60, maybe we won't be able to fund a college career. This is not the time to give up hope, this is the to begin again. A fresh new plan. A revamping of ideas and I would definitely recommend leaving every previous thought behind and keeping an open mind to WHAT you COULD do VS What WILL I DO??
There are always two choices, I crammed this into my childrens brains when they were just small little beings. And for those two choices, there is always two consequences. This law of life can't be altered. It's as black and white as things come.
I like to think that in 5 years, I'll still be able to retire. But I now have to find a different opportunity to do it. I now have to rethink how or where I'll do this, and I might have to change my time-line, my career choice or my location to get this done. To me it would be worth the sacrifice to save some of my goals. It's not in the doing, but in the HOW you get it done.
This path of thought can be and should be applied to many areas in our life. A career change, a location change, or just a change in the relationships in your life.
I've been at points in my life that I had to choose what kind of relationship I would have with someone that I didn't necessarily want "out" of my life but I also didn't want them to be the role model their title assumed them to be. We decide this.
My 17 year old daughter has wrestled for many years with what kind of relationship to have with her bio mom. She's a little girl, so, of course, she expected it to be the kind of mother/daughter relationship that prepares you to be a mother yourself. Unfortunately she didn't have that with her mother. She learned disappointment at a young age. She would give up during those times when Mom didn't call, didn't show, didn't express love...But then the phone would ring and it would be Mom, Mom was sorry, Mom was promising to do better, Mom was back to give some false hope. You eventually get it. Sorry if it's not pretty, but it's just Mom and she's struggling with her own demons. You learn how much of yourself is safe to give to someone else...You decide the relationship. You can't change the fact that someone is your biological parent but you can control the amount of harm you allow them to do to you.
I have a family member that just wants to be part of their large family,they want the family to act loving and caring...It ain't always happening for them. But they can't get themself to stop risking the harm that the dsyfuntion does to their family by choosing to decide the relationship.
Again, it is as simple as changing your thoughts, your expectations and your direction.
There are times in life when walking away from all you've know, all you've thought is the best move you could ever make. Make up a new script for your life, one in which you are the star. Choose only the lessons that are substantial to this new person you yearn to be, leave the rest behind.
We are responsible only for "Our" next step...
So many of us have a plan, we build our careers, buy our homes and raise our families. We expect that tomorrow morning, our job will be there, our home will be safe and our children will grow up to be productive respectful citizens. Many of us now are having to face that in the morning we may not be going to work, there may be no work. For those who have already passed the worry stage and havent worked in a very long time, we are now wondering about the stability of what we call home, our childrens college funds, and our retirment package.
Now is the time to re-group. Maybe we wont retire at 60, maybe we won't be able to fund a college career. This is not the time to give up hope, this is the to begin again. A fresh new plan. A revamping of ideas and I would definitely recommend leaving every previous thought behind and keeping an open mind to WHAT you COULD do VS What WILL I DO??
There are always two choices, I crammed this into my childrens brains when they were just small little beings. And for those two choices, there is always two consequences. This law of life can't be altered. It's as black and white as things come.
I like to think that in 5 years, I'll still be able to retire. But I now have to find a different opportunity to do it. I now have to rethink how or where I'll do this, and I might have to change my time-line, my career choice or my location to get this done. To me it would be worth the sacrifice to save some of my goals. It's not in the doing, but in the HOW you get it done.
This path of thought can be and should be applied to many areas in our life. A career change, a location change, or just a change in the relationships in your life.
I've been at points in my life that I had to choose what kind of relationship I would have with someone that I didn't necessarily want "out" of my life but I also didn't want them to be the role model their title assumed them to be. We decide this.
My 17 year old daughter has wrestled for many years with what kind of relationship to have with her bio mom. She's a little girl, so, of course, she expected it to be the kind of mother/daughter relationship that prepares you to be a mother yourself. Unfortunately she didn't have that with her mother. She learned disappointment at a young age. She would give up during those times when Mom didn't call, didn't show, didn't express love...But then the phone would ring and it would be Mom, Mom was sorry, Mom was promising to do better, Mom was back to give some false hope. You eventually get it. Sorry if it's not pretty, but it's just Mom and she's struggling with her own demons. You learn how much of yourself is safe to give to someone else...You decide the relationship. You can't change the fact that someone is your biological parent but you can control the amount of harm you allow them to do to you.
I have a family member that just wants to be part of their large family,they want the family to act loving and caring...It ain't always happening for them. But they can't get themself to stop risking the harm that the dsyfuntion does to their family by choosing to decide the relationship.
Again, it is as simple as changing your thoughts, your expectations and your direction.
There are times in life when walking away from all you've know, all you've thought is the best move you could ever make. Make up a new script for your life, one in which you are the star. Choose only the lessons that are substantial to this new person you yearn to be, leave the rest behind.
We are responsible only for "Our" next step...
Monday, March 23, 2009
Sunshine
I relish in the sunshine, to me it's the best seasons there are. I want my life to be like sunshine, always warm and cosy, though most of us miss the sunshine. And I dont mean a yearning in our heart for it, but that we are blinded by the fog of our brain to realize that we are in moments of sunshine.
We pick all the rays til the sunshine just isn't there anymore, and it really can't be, cause like I said, we've picked it all away. We've taken every little ray that was offered and turned it into storms.
It's very hard for me to understand why we do that to ourselves, I know we do and I know that some of us try so hard to hang on to the life we've known as normal that we never find our own life. I guess if all you've known in your life is storms then the sunshine is a little scary. I know people that know their childhoods and current lifestyles were dyfunctional, yet still live the same lifestyle??? Yeah, that's confusing to me.
I'm far from perfect, actually I used to be that person I'm talking about....I guess you have to have an awakening moment, for me that was the day that I realized that I was totally alone. My youngest daughter's father had passed on and I was faced with raising her totally on my own. It's not like being a single mother was foreign to me, that wasn't my fear. It was that i wouldn't be able to supply all her emotional needs. The ones that comes from knowing your father. I cried for hours that day, and when the tears stopped, I knew that it was time to find a different lifestyle, to find a different path than the one I had to this point ventured. I guess that was my turning point. And I looked hard for who I really was, and what I really wanted to come away with and how I wanted to someday look back on the past.
I didn't do things perfectly, but that was my start. That was the day that I began seeking my sunshine and avoiding the storms.
We pick all the rays til the sunshine just isn't there anymore, and it really can't be, cause like I said, we've picked it all away. We've taken every little ray that was offered and turned it into storms.
It's very hard for me to understand why we do that to ourselves, I know we do and I know that some of us try so hard to hang on to the life we've known as normal that we never find our own life. I guess if all you've known in your life is storms then the sunshine is a little scary. I know people that know their childhoods and current lifestyles were dyfunctional, yet still live the same lifestyle??? Yeah, that's confusing to me.
I'm far from perfect, actually I used to be that person I'm talking about....I guess you have to have an awakening moment, for me that was the day that I realized that I was totally alone. My youngest daughter's father had passed on and I was faced with raising her totally on my own. It's not like being a single mother was foreign to me, that wasn't my fear. It was that i wouldn't be able to supply all her emotional needs. The ones that comes from knowing your father. I cried for hours that day, and when the tears stopped, I knew that it was time to find a different lifestyle, to find a different path than the one I had to this point ventured. I guess that was my turning point. And I looked hard for who I really was, and what I really wanted to come away with and how I wanted to someday look back on the past.
I didn't do things perfectly, but that was my start. That was the day that I began seeking my sunshine and avoiding the storms.
I stole this....
Ok, as I was surfing blogs I found a new survey. Those of us that feel uncontrollably compelled to fill these in are sick of the usual questions so as this one has a new wider, deep thought content, I thought I would post it. I'd give the other blogger credit, but I can't remember where I found him and he stole it too so what the hell...
1. What would you have on your headstone?
Hopefully mine will read..."Angela Walker, Mother to many, Nana to at least a dozen, Lover of family, life and God. Fullfilled all her dreams. Left many memories and happy thoughts.
2. What is your dream car?
Well, I think my "i've made it car" will be a Navigator, so when you see me driving one, you'll know that I've done all that I set out to do and am now just enjoying where I'm at.
3. Is pornography morally wrong?
Absolutely it is, sex should be between two ppl and only those two ppl should experience it. But have we all watched it, Probably
4. Write the opening line of a wonderful novel...
Man, if I could do this, I might have already been published, but here goes
"In the deep recesses of her mind, she could recall his bright blue eyes and the agony of her last words, as she turned and walked away"
5.Best music video ever?
In my delusional fantasies, it's still "Footloose"
6. If you had a big lottery win, how long would you wait to tell people?
I've thought of this often as I know I must be prepared for the day that I pull the winning numbers and want to do this exactly right (LOL) I would wait for a few days for the shock to wear off, I would pack an overnight bag and drive to pick up the money. (I might have already set up a bling trust to keep it hidden from everyone that would be out to just get what they can get) I would trust one person to go with, though I dont know who that would be right now. Upon returning home I would gather the immediate family and tell them to pack for a long family vacation. I dont know if i would ever tell them that I hit it big, I would just let them find out when the will was read maybe hehe
7.Do you carry a donor card? Why or Why not?
I don't, though I've directed my family to release them upon my death. I do believe that in a accident, if you've got 8 good organs, the docs would be hard pressed to let you die and save 8 others.
8. Where would you like to retire?
Well, I'm not particular about a certain state, but rathar it be somewhere close to my family
9.What is something you wish you were better at?
umm....being a taker, I guess
10. What color do you prefer your pens to be?
Black
11. Is your driver's license current?
No, LOL I've been back to Oklahoma for over two years and am still carrying a tx dl...I need to get that fixed this week
12. What magazine subscriptions do you have?
Food and Family, Better Homes and Gardens, Taste of Home, Food Arts, The Christian Woman, Readers Digest, Field and Stream (I dont know why this one is coming, I didn't subscribe)
13. What is your favorite shape?
definitely a cross for me
14. Last thing you microwaved?
Chicken wraps for the kids
15. What book are you currently reading?
"Whose pushing your buttons?"
16. What's your boot style?
Mine is Fat Babies and Justins but I really love all boots, really I do
17. Can you be bought?
Well I can't be..but I do know lots of people that base whether their loved or not by how well their living their life
18.Cite a song lyric that means something to you
You were meant to play your part in the design of a desperate heart, and while you were gave your love to me , I was betting I was getting it free. oh if I'd only known , ahhh, what your heart cost. oh can we call it a loan and a debt that I owe on a bet that I lost
19. Are you currently among the employed?
Actually Im not and being home since the last of Jan, I think it's probably time to rejoin the work force
20.Decribe yourself in 5 words:
Wow 1. Independent 2. Stable 3. Loving, giving person 4. Achiever 5. Truthful
21. Where do you find your balance?
Within a strong family unit, a secure job and a comfortable loving warm home
22. If you planted a garden?
Well, I do have the start of a potted garden on the back deck, some cherry tomatoes, I'm gonna add some green onions, cucumbers and peppers. Maybe something else, I haven't decided
23. What is the oldest thing you own?
umm...besides me? LOL I owe a little plastic, squeeking Cupie Doll that my Aunt Judy bought for me when my mom was still pregnant with me
24. If I were a boy....
LMAO...I could answer this in so many ways, first and foremost I'd rearrange my balls.....Enough said?
1. What would you have on your headstone?
Hopefully mine will read..."Angela Walker, Mother to many, Nana to at least a dozen, Lover of family, life and God. Fullfilled all her dreams. Left many memories and happy thoughts.
2. What is your dream car?
Well, I think my "i've made it car" will be a Navigator, so when you see me driving one, you'll know that I've done all that I set out to do and am now just enjoying where I'm at.
3. Is pornography morally wrong?
Absolutely it is, sex should be between two ppl and only those two ppl should experience it. But have we all watched it, Probably
4. Write the opening line of a wonderful novel...
Man, if I could do this, I might have already been published, but here goes
"In the deep recesses of her mind, she could recall his bright blue eyes and the agony of her last words, as she turned and walked away"
5.Best music video ever?
In my delusional fantasies, it's still "Footloose"
6. If you had a big lottery win, how long would you wait to tell people?
I've thought of this often as I know I must be prepared for the day that I pull the winning numbers and want to do this exactly right (LOL) I would wait for a few days for the shock to wear off, I would pack an overnight bag and drive to pick up the money. (I might have already set up a bling trust to keep it hidden from everyone that would be out to just get what they can get) I would trust one person to go with, though I dont know who that would be right now. Upon returning home I would gather the immediate family and tell them to pack for a long family vacation. I dont know if i would ever tell them that I hit it big, I would just let them find out when the will was read maybe hehe
7.Do you carry a donor card? Why or Why not?
I don't, though I've directed my family to release them upon my death. I do believe that in a accident, if you've got 8 good organs, the docs would be hard pressed to let you die and save 8 others.
8. Where would you like to retire?
Well, I'm not particular about a certain state, but rathar it be somewhere close to my family
9.What is something you wish you were better at?
umm....being a taker, I guess
10. What color do you prefer your pens to be?
Black
11. Is your driver's license current?
No, LOL I've been back to Oklahoma for over two years and am still carrying a tx dl...I need to get that fixed this week
12. What magazine subscriptions do you have?
Food and Family, Better Homes and Gardens, Taste of Home, Food Arts, The Christian Woman, Readers Digest, Field and Stream (I dont know why this one is coming, I didn't subscribe)
13. What is your favorite shape?
definitely a cross for me
14. Last thing you microwaved?
Chicken wraps for the kids
15. What book are you currently reading?
"Whose pushing your buttons?"
16. What's your boot style?
Mine is Fat Babies and Justins but I really love all boots, really I do
17. Can you be bought?
Well I can't be..but I do know lots of people that base whether their loved or not by how well their living their life
18.Cite a song lyric that means something to you
You were meant to play your part in the design of a desperate heart, and while you were gave your love to me , I was betting I was getting it free. oh if I'd only known , ahhh, what your heart cost. oh can we call it a loan and a debt that I owe on a bet that I lost
19. Are you currently among the employed?
Actually Im not and being home since the last of Jan, I think it's probably time to rejoin the work force
20.Decribe yourself in 5 words:
Wow 1. Independent 2. Stable 3. Loving, giving person 4. Achiever 5. Truthful
21. Where do you find your balance?
Within a strong family unit, a secure job and a comfortable loving warm home
22. If you planted a garden?
Well, I do have the start of a potted garden on the back deck, some cherry tomatoes, I'm gonna add some green onions, cucumbers and peppers. Maybe something else, I haven't decided
23. What is the oldest thing you own?
umm...besides me? LOL I owe a little plastic, squeeking Cupie Doll that my Aunt Judy bought for me when my mom was still pregnant with me
24. If I were a boy....
LMAO...I could answer this in so many ways, first and foremost I'd rearrange my balls.....Enough said?
I'm not a cowgirl...
Though I play one on TV. (Sorry i couldn't resist) Let me move forward, I act, talk and dress as a cowgirl. I dont wear a hat, but Im almost always in a pair of boots, jeans and dont forget the all important belt. I dont know why that's my style. Mom says that I always insisted that I was wearing a pair of boots. There are pictures of me and my cousin Kim, standing side by side. She's all pretty and feminine in her little puffy dress. I'm in jeans and boots.
I "rode" a bull once (for about 2 seconds) when I was 14 years old. A friends older brother dared me. I'm not one to back down from a dare.
I wasn't raised on a farm or a ranch, I wasn't raised around a bunch of "cowboys". Though my Bio Dad was absolutely 100% cowboy, I didn't even meet him til I was 17 so I can't even blame it on that.
But I was raised around a bunch of "good-ole" boys. Simple things in life, loving what God gave us, whooping out a great big "ye-haw" was nothing new to my childhood. It was not unusual at a family gathering to round up some wood and start a campfire, someone usually had a guitar and would start strumming a tune. Some gospel, some Merle, some Gene Autry (Yeah I realize that most of you have probably never heard a tune from old Gene)
As I became a teenager, as most of us do, I tried to run from the cycles of life, the ancestors ways. The ole cowboy way was embarrassing in a little oil and gas town that mostly partied and I didn't fit in as a cowgirl (Though I never gave up the boots) So I adapted my lifestyle to that of the rock and roller (LOL) I did that good too, at least for a while, but I learned that I missed the simple good things in life....The pastures, the wildflowers, the fellowship over a good bbq and just someone thinking its ok to stay up and watch a sunrise, not because you are flying high and can't sleep but because life is so good, you want to be able to add this to your list of accomplishments.
As I come back around to the lifestyle that I grew up with, I found that life was simpler, more real and more pleasant...But mostly more peaceful.
We all fit in some kind of mold, we all can labeled into a category but I'm not big on categories so I dont place much emphasis on what you are labeled, only what's inside your heart is what matters to me.
I'm a city girl with a country heart, but that doesn't make me a cowgirl.
I "rode" a bull once (for about 2 seconds) when I was 14 years old. A friends older brother dared me. I'm not one to back down from a dare.
I wasn't raised on a farm or a ranch, I wasn't raised around a bunch of "cowboys". Though my Bio Dad was absolutely 100% cowboy, I didn't even meet him til I was 17 so I can't even blame it on that.
But I was raised around a bunch of "good-ole" boys. Simple things in life, loving what God gave us, whooping out a great big "ye-haw" was nothing new to my childhood. It was not unusual at a family gathering to round up some wood and start a campfire, someone usually had a guitar and would start strumming a tune. Some gospel, some Merle, some Gene Autry (Yeah I realize that most of you have probably never heard a tune from old Gene)
As I became a teenager, as most of us do, I tried to run from the cycles of life, the ancestors ways. The ole cowboy way was embarrassing in a little oil and gas town that mostly partied and I didn't fit in as a cowgirl (Though I never gave up the boots) So I adapted my lifestyle to that of the rock and roller (LOL) I did that good too, at least for a while, but I learned that I missed the simple good things in life....The pastures, the wildflowers, the fellowship over a good bbq and just someone thinking its ok to stay up and watch a sunrise, not because you are flying high and can't sleep but because life is so good, you want to be able to add this to your list of accomplishments.
As I come back around to the lifestyle that I grew up with, I found that life was simpler, more real and more pleasant...But mostly more peaceful.
We all fit in some kind of mold, we all can labeled into a category but I'm not big on categories so I dont place much emphasis on what you are labeled, only what's inside your heart is what matters to me.
I'm a city girl with a country heart, but that doesn't make me a cowgirl.
If you have to ask?....
You know that old saying, You won't know til you ask? Well, I've always found to be blatantly right. I've never been afraid of asking the question as I'd rathar know than not know, even when the answer isn't what I want to hear. I hate wondering about things, I need to have order in my life and in order to do that I have to know who's in my life and what they are thinking, what's their expectations, especially if it specifically concerns me. Not knowing the next step just puts your life on hold.
A friend was once consoling me about a heartbreak, after saying I didn't know what to do next, because I couldn't figure out what they were thinking, she asked the all time most important question I've ever heard. "Why are you waiting for someone else to make decisions about your life?" At last the sun shined down. I felt pretty ridiculous at that moment because she was exactly right and I had been so foolish to even consider letting someone else make a decision about my life and my heart and my feelings. I've often used this question to many that were seeking advice from me, it seems to be the most self-explantory answer.
So with all that said, I still say, you'll never know without asking. But if you dont get an answer, let that be the answer within itself. If someone can't give you a straight answer, that means the answer is there and they are just hoping you'll figure it out yourself. If you have to ask, you probably already know the answer. You are in charge of your life, your direction and how it ends. Dont give the final decision to someone that can't or won't answer.
A friend was once consoling me about a heartbreak, after saying I didn't know what to do next, because I couldn't figure out what they were thinking, she asked the all time most important question I've ever heard. "Why are you waiting for someone else to make decisions about your life?" At last the sun shined down. I felt pretty ridiculous at that moment because she was exactly right and I had been so foolish to even consider letting someone else make a decision about my life and my heart and my feelings. I've often used this question to many that were seeking advice from me, it seems to be the most self-explantory answer.
So with all that said, I still say, you'll never know without asking. But if you dont get an answer, let that be the answer within itself. If someone can't give you a straight answer, that means the answer is there and they are just hoping you'll figure it out yourself. If you have to ask, you probably already know the answer. You are in charge of your life, your direction and how it ends. Dont give the final decision to someone that can't or won't answer.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
I love....
- I love rainy days or nights, providing only that I dont have to driving in it, I enjoy sitting outside hearing the rain beat on a tin roof of a back porch...or the bedroom window, cause I've just decided that I'm NOT getting out of bed that day
- I love being a Nana, being that important to little people, surpasses any feeling I've ever experienced.
- I love family reunions, sitting around the camp fire and sharing stories, passing the bottle, playing with the kiddos,whatever it entails, I love it!
- I love watching my grown children interact within their own families, knowing that a little of our life has carried into that
- I love BBQ's, friends, family and even strangers gathered together for a meal, a conversation and just good guaranteed times
- I love dancing, throwing around the dance floor, no cares, no worries, just moving with no reason
- I Love me some dirt roads, cold beer and a great companion
- I love visiting with my Grandmother and hearing her wisdom, sometimes her rantings, her ravings, I treasure each word she speaks
- I love the feeling after a 18 hour day putting a function together when the boss comes and says "Good Job, let's go have a beer"
- I love a day at the lake, river or pond, my pole immersed into the deep water and the little/big nibbles coming along and hopefully pulling the biggest one out before the day ends
- I love the warm afternoon sitting in the sun, watching the flowers grow, having great conversation and maybe a cold beer
- I love accomplishing a job, ending it with a job well done and a new knowledge that I can do whatever I want to do
- I love sharing life, someone seeing what love is really about because you took the time to show them
- I love my big comfy bed, the warm covers, the comfort that laying down gives and the security that I am tucked safely in at night
- I love my kiddos, each and every one of them and the fact that nothing can take them away from me...I love each individual aspect to them.
- I love my husband, his tender gentle soul that has become so important to me.
- I love a long walk in the spring, down the drive, street or on the shore, watching what God has given us one more time.
- I love life!!
19 Second short term memory
I've often heard that babies are only capable of a memory span of 19 seconds..those of you that are geeks can go ahead and look this up. I haven't and dont feel the need to in order to write this blog, it's just what I've been told before.
Just think how nice that would be, you'd still learn the necessary life lessons, as in dont touch, it's hot...I'm hungry, get food...I'm pissed, scream and throw a fit. But you'd quickly forget what really hurt you. You'd forget the pain that life sometimes causes, you'd forget exactly why you had that fit a few seconds ago. You'd forget that someone that you love is capable of hurting you to a depth you've never known.
I think we would only remember the important things that we need to take with us in order to grow. You'd still remember Mom and Dad and the people that you loved, but everything else would be left in that time of space or whereever it goes.
So I sit here and wonder why exactly is it important for our short term memory to hold on to this stuff? Wouldn't life just be a lot more pleasant if we didn't carry it around? I'm thinking there is some logical reason for this but still....
If the boss is an ass to you one morning, that afternoon you've forgotten the altercation and can pleasantly say "Hello, how are you?", without harboring thoughts about his/her ruin...
Maybe we would never have internal baggage that creates problems for us the next time around. Maybe we would never harm our children, or abuse our spouse. Simply because we couldn't remember a period of hurt in our life.
Would we grow? I dont know, I fully doubt we would become the deep, well rounded, people that most of inspire to be. Maybe we would walk around like zombies...would that make us totally incapable of developing long term feelings for someone, having a family connection, being able to commit to a career?
With all that said, I think that we would be better served if it were possible to copy that thought, when you feel pain because of someone else, you could decide to only hold on to it for 19 seconds, is that long enough to process it and remove it? I dont know, but I do know that we spend entirely too much time on our past pain and some of us never move past it.
Just think how nice that would be, you'd still learn the necessary life lessons, as in dont touch, it's hot...I'm hungry, get food...I'm pissed, scream and throw a fit. But you'd quickly forget what really hurt you. You'd forget the pain that life sometimes causes, you'd forget exactly why you had that fit a few seconds ago. You'd forget that someone that you love is capable of hurting you to a depth you've never known.
I think we would only remember the important things that we need to take with us in order to grow. You'd still remember Mom and Dad and the people that you loved, but everything else would be left in that time of space or whereever it goes.
So I sit here and wonder why exactly is it important for our short term memory to hold on to this stuff? Wouldn't life just be a lot more pleasant if we didn't carry it around? I'm thinking there is some logical reason for this but still....
If the boss is an ass to you one morning, that afternoon you've forgotten the altercation and can pleasantly say "Hello, how are you?", without harboring thoughts about his/her ruin...
Maybe we would never have internal baggage that creates problems for us the next time around. Maybe we would never harm our children, or abuse our spouse. Simply because we couldn't remember a period of hurt in our life.
Would we grow? I dont know, I fully doubt we would become the deep, well rounded, people that most of inspire to be. Maybe we would walk around like zombies...would that make us totally incapable of developing long term feelings for someone, having a family connection, being able to commit to a career?
With all that said, I think that we would be better served if it were possible to copy that thought, when you feel pain because of someone else, you could decide to only hold on to it for 19 seconds, is that long enough to process it and remove it? I dont know, but I do know that we spend entirely too much time on our past pain and some of us never move past it.
You can't please everyone...
I started my coffee, took out the dog, lit a cigarette, returned to get coffee and sat down here in front of the computer, and I thought about all I am expected to do this week.
Trying to find the perfect order (it seems Im a little anal like that) to get through the week with the least resistance from my over zealous brain that is in constant need to organization. The list isn't what's bothering me, it's some people's expectations of me and everyone else.
I want to make everything right for everybody (hence failed marriages) by nature Im a fixer. But in some things you just can't be held responsible for the repair of bad attitude, guidance or the inability to have a happy life.
Plagued with this knowledge this morning that someone needs me to fix something for them, I ponder what I could do. And I know that in reality, this is not my deal, it is theirs. Solidly, completely theirs and I could attempt to make it right for them, but that would only be a temporary fix...The real root would still be there and eventually surface at a later time.
So, today I've decided that I won't play the role of repairman.
If this is your life, isn't it about time you stopped playing the role? Are you an enabler? Need to control someone's life to the point that you don't know where theirs stops and yours end? Many of us find ourselves in these situations. Some find that we are the ones that are in need of repair...If that's the case then it's up to you to fix what's ailing you. If things aren't right in your life, have you looked inside? Have you tried to find the root of the cause?
The start is the ability to look freshly at the situation....and for those of us that enable, it's the ability to say "NO"
I know a couple who have had a long string of "bad luck", at least that's how they see it. They spend all their time thinking what others could, should or can do for them. I rarely see them taking responsibility for their own life, I rarely see them looking at their life and thinking what's best for them and their family. And they absolutely dont consider that a change in their life could bring about the positive. They'd rathar blame "WHY" their life is the way it is.
The greatest lesson I've come away with is that there is only one person that you can look at and find fault in if your life isn't where you hoped it to be, that is yourself.
If you find today, that you are sad, disappointed, overwhelmed, over burdened. Ask yourself this, who exactly has control in your life? And I'm pretty sure, if you found of these things wrong this morning, your answer won't be yourself, and that's the first and most important change you need to make. Decide TODAY to make the changes you need to be happy in your life!
Trying to find the perfect order (it seems Im a little anal like that) to get through the week with the least resistance from my over zealous brain that is in constant need to organization. The list isn't what's bothering me, it's some people's expectations of me and everyone else.
I want to make everything right for everybody (hence failed marriages) by nature Im a fixer. But in some things you just can't be held responsible for the repair of bad attitude, guidance or the inability to have a happy life.
Plagued with this knowledge this morning that someone needs me to fix something for them, I ponder what I could do. And I know that in reality, this is not my deal, it is theirs. Solidly, completely theirs and I could attempt to make it right for them, but that would only be a temporary fix...The real root would still be there and eventually surface at a later time.
So, today I've decided that I won't play the role of repairman.
If this is your life, isn't it about time you stopped playing the role? Are you an enabler? Need to control someone's life to the point that you don't know where theirs stops and yours end? Many of us find ourselves in these situations. Some find that we are the ones that are in need of repair...If that's the case then it's up to you to fix what's ailing you. If things aren't right in your life, have you looked inside? Have you tried to find the root of the cause?
The start is the ability to look freshly at the situation....and for those of us that enable, it's the ability to say "NO"
I know a couple who have had a long string of "bad luck", at least that's how they see it. They spend all their time thinking what others could, should or can do for them. I rarely see them taking responsibility for their own life, I rarely see them looking at their life and thinking what's best for them and their family. And they absolutely dont consider that a change in their life could bring about the positive. They'd rathar blame "WHY" their life is the way it is.
The greatest lesson I've come away with is that there is only one person that you can look at and find fault in if your life isn't where you hoped it to be, that is yourself.
If you find today, that you are sad, disappointed, overwhelmed, over burdened. Ask yourself this, who exactly has control in your life? And I'm pretty sure, if you found of these things wrong this morning, your answer won't be yourself, and that's the first and most important change you need to make. Decide TODAY to make the changes you need to be happy in your life!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
That's what I think
My husband mentioned that I should change the summary of this blog, but I can't...And the reason I can't is because my thoughts really are random for the most part....
I wish I could name my blog one appropriate thing and stay on subject but my life has never or probably ever will be that structured. So it's just easier to say Random thoughts, and then you guys aren't so surprised.
I'm tired of blogging about life lessons, hell who needs them from me. Im no expert, though I still think I can give pretty good advice.
Im just gonna go for a pretty out there kinda blog tonight, now I know that a true writer has a beginning, a meaning and an end. Just bear with me, you probably aren't gonna find that here tonight.
I have a new dog, her name is Paulette. She's very adorable. A Maltese this time. I guess empty nest has set in and I really need someone to take care of. I miss my kiddos being at home, I miss that more than I can say. Those of you still raising little ones, it's hard to believe but it's incredibly sad when they are no longer home, even if you just want them there to yell at LOL
My husband is in NC, and I miss him dearly. He's working on finishing the kitchen and I know that's for me, he could care less about a kitchen. But I'm grateful that he knows that's important to me. Though we haven't been married that long, we were thrown together in a motel for months and months and even as lovely as that sounds, sometimes it wasn't so pretty LOL and I miss even those ulgy times. I mean, have you ever seen my husband smile? Its a melting pot. I miss you baby!!! And I'm ready to see my other kids out there too and little Ady...I can't wait to spend time with them.
I dont know what's goin to happen with us, hubby had a successful business and graciously decided to do the oil and gas thing, now that that's over. We have hopes to restart his business but the as you all know the economy really sucks right now. With God's grace we will still be okay.
I have my second to the youngest grandbaby tonight, shes safely tucked into Nana's huge king size bed and I know I'll sleep soundly with her by my side. She's an incredibly funny little girl, she's wise beyond her years, but then she takes after her momma in that way. Jenn was a fun kid, Liza definitely follows suit there.
I expect to head to NC sometime in the next couple weeks, I think my husband is about ready for that. And Chels has a prom later in April that I want to be there for. I have to be back here in May for Tiff's wedding and Trav and I are going with Darrell and Sarah on a cruise in June...We are definitely busy unemployed people lol....It'll be fun though. We didn't get much of a honeymoon when we got married, we drove to Tx to pick up our new RV and then headed back this way to prepare for work and that's mostly what we've done since we've been married, so on this cruise I most definitely plan to take the honeymoon attitude with me.
LIfe will be hard trying to live between two places I suppose...but it can be done. At least that's what I think.
I wish I could name my blog one appropriate thing and stay on subject but my life has never or probably ever will be that structured. So it's just easier to say Random thoughts, and then you guys aren't so surprised.
I'm tired of blogging about life lessons, hell who needs them from me. Im no expert, though I still think I can give pretty good advice.
Im just gonna go for a pretty out there kinda blog tonight, now I know that a true writer has a beginning, a meaning and an end. Just bear with me, you probably aren't gonna find that here tonight.
I have a new dog, her name is Paulette. She's very adorable. A Maltese this time. I guess empty nest has set in and I really need someone to take care of. I miss my kiddos being at home, I miss that more than I can say. Those of you still raising little ones, it's hard to believe but it's incredibly sad when they are no longer home, even if you just want them there to yell at LOL
My husband is in NC, and I miss him dearly. He's working on finishing the kitchen and I know that's for me, he could care less about a kitchen. But I'm grateful that he knows that's important to me. Though we haven't been married that long, we were thrown together in a motel for months and months and even as lovely as that sounds, sometimes it wasn't so pretty LOL and I miss even those ulgy times. I mean, have you ever seen my husband smile? Its a melting pot. I miss you baby!!! And I'm ready to see my other kids out there too and little Ady...I can't wait to spend time with them.
I dont know what's goin to happen with us, hubby had a successful business and graciously decided to do the oil and gas thing, now that that's over. We have hopes to restart his business but the as you all know the economy really sucks right now. With God's grace we will still be okay.
I have my second to the youngest grandbaby tonight, shes safely tucked into Nana's huge king size bed and I know I'll sleep soundly with her by my side. She's an incredibly funny little girl, she's wise beyond her years, but then she takes after her momma in that way. Jenn was a fun kid, Liza definitely follows suit there.
I expect to head to NC sometime in the next couple weeks, I think my husband is about ready for that. And Chels has a prom later in April that I want to be there for. I have to be back here in May for Tiff's wedding and Trav and I are going with Darrell and Sarah on a cruise in June...We are definitely busy unemployed people lol....It'll be fun though. We didn't get much of a honeymoon when we got married, we drove to Tx to pick up our new RV and then headed back this way to prepare for work and that's mostly what we've done since we've been married, so on this cruise I most definitely plan to take the honeymoon attitude with me.
LIfe will be hard trying to live between two places I suppose...but it can be done. At least that's what I think.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Is your life blessed?
My husband has often commented how he has seen the favor that God has bestowed upon me. Had he been here 20 years ago he would have seen my life in a different light. I am indeed blessed but once I wasn't so blessed. Times were hard back then, struggle was a part of everyday life. I still struggle today, dont get me wrong, nothing is ever handed to anyone. The difference between now and 20 years ago is that I'm no longer alone, I've added a partner to the fight and he makes the choices in my life now. I believe that that's the key, it's knowing that God is in control of my life.
As individuals, it's sometimes very threatening to give up your choices to someone else...or to wait for someone to show you what to do. It feels very out of control and scary. But knowing that I'm not capable of doing it on my own has allowed me to gracefully give up the control, the fear and the doubt. And I find today that the times I try to keep control is when I'm most likely to make another mistake, one which I can't afford.
God blesssed me with a wonderful family, one that was not rich and ok, but one that was poor and still learning, which allowed me to learn with them. I can't think of one aunt or uncle that didn't play an important part of a life skill I now carry. I can't help but think that was God's ultimate plan. Later in life (Im sure sooner than he expected LOL) he blessed me with children. As a parent I struggled to raise them, sometimes just to feed them. But love was plenty. I loved them and never withheld that from them, even if they sometimes thought that the "tough love" thing was unfair. I made plenty of mistakes, I didn't always guide with influence as I should have and sometimes I made the wrong decisions. I was a kid myself and learning with them. My children are awesome people now. They have grown up to make me very proud. That doesn't by any means, mean that they do everything right. No one does. But indeed they still make me immensely proud.
God blesssed me with an abundance of love in my heart, for family, for friends and sometimes for strangers. I love people. I love meeting new people and sharing my life, I love being with old friends and remembering good times. I love having adult conversations with my grown kids as much as I loved when they were beginning to speak their first words. I love having a life to share with someone.
One of the greatest blessing the Lord has given me is the opportunity to redeem my flaws as a parent. And that is by my grandchildren. Each child that has been born has added to my life of truly realizing God's blessings. They each are individuals with their own seperate personalities, yet also each are a part of me.
God has blessed me with an another family after all these years. Chelsea and TJ, I'm as proud of them as if I had had them since birth and only wish I could be with them more.
God has blessed me with the ability to choose to love someone one more time and I'm thankful for Travis in my life and can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for us.
God has blessed me a family of in-laws that I can't wait to get closer to.
God has blessed me with the knowledge to do whatever I want to do, the ability to go out there and work hard to achieve that which I dream of. He has put me in places to acquire that knowledge (like Amarillo) that I will always be greatful for. He has blessed me with the proper placement of needed people in my life (as in Tim, Les and Serena) some old employers that taught me some of the knowledge I have today to climb the ladder.
God has favored me in many ways over my lifetime and I thank the people responsible that taught me to acknowledge His presence in my life so that I now know that He's in control and has me safe and sound.
I just wanted you all to know the blessings in my life and hope to stimulate you to look and see what blessings he has placed in yours.
God Bless You!!!!!!!!!
As individuals, it's sometimes very threatening to give up your choices to someone else...or to wait for someone to show you what to do. It feels very out of control and scary. But knowing that I'm not capable of doing it on my own has allowed me to gracefully give up the control, the fear and the doubt. And I find today that the times I try to keep control is when I'm most likely to make another mistake, one which I can't afford.
God blesssed me with a wonderful family, one that was not rich and ok, but one that was poor and still learning, which allowed me to learn with them. I can't think of one aunt or uncle that didn't play an important part of a life skill I now carry. I can't help but think that was God's ultimate plan. Later in life (Im sure sooner than he expected LOL) he blessed me with children. As a parent I struggled to raise them, sometimes just to feed them. But love was plenty. I loved them and never withheld that from them, even if they sometimes thought that the "tough love" thing was unfair. I made plenty of mistakes, I didn't always guide with influence as I should have and sometimes I made the wrong decisions. I was a kid myself and learning with them. My children are awesome people now. They have grown up to make me very proud. That doesn't by any means, mean that they do everything right. No one does. But indeed they still make me immensely proud.
God blesssed me with an abundance of love in my heart, for family, for friends and sometimes for strangers. I love people. I love meeting new people and sharing my life, I love being with old friends and remembering good times. I love having adult conversations with my grown kids as much as I loved when they were beginning to speak their first words. I love having a life to share with someone.
One of the greatest blessing the Lord has given me is the opportunity to redeem my flaws as a parent. And that is by my grandchildren. Each child that has been born has added to my life of truly realizing God's blessings. They each are individuals with their own seperate personalities, yet also each are a part of me.
God has blessed me with an another family after all these years. Chelsea and TJ, I'm as proud of them as if I had had them since birth and only wish I could be with them more.
God has blessed me with the ability to choose to love someone one more time and I'm thankful for Travis in my life and can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for us.
God has blessed me a family of in-laws that I can't wait to get closer to.
God has blessed me with the knowledge to do whatever I want to do, the ability to go out there and work hard to achieve that which I dream of. He has put me in places to acquire that knowledge (like Amarillo) that I will always be greatful for. He has blessed me with the proper placement of needed people in my life (as in Tim, Les and Serena) some old employers that taught me some of the knowledge I have today to climb the ladder.
God has favored me in many ways over my lifetime and I thank the people responsible that taught me to acknowledge His presence in my life so that I now know that He's in control and has me safe and sound.
I just wanted you all to know the blessings in my life and hope to stimulate you to look and see what blessings he has placed in yours.
God Bless You!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Random-ness
I've been thinking for weeks what I could write about, it's not like I couldn't think of something, it's more like I couldn't bare it down enough to have a solid subject. My mind is filled continually with random thoughts and very little resolution at the moment. So instead of trying to force a flow of one particular subject, I thought I would grace you with some random-ness with no rhyme or reason:
- I'm really pissed at Obama right now. And I'm a democrat!
- I've been thinking of starting a at-home business. The same random-ness that has plagued my blogs has also plaqued this idea. So I just need some cohesion to sort it out to something that would be fun, profitable and long term.
- I wonder if I could paint the brick around my fireplace, I'd like to go for a calm, serene beachy feeling in here
- I am now addicted to Craig's list, searching for furniture, jobs and a dog.
- A thought, good or evil, an act, in time a habit, so runs lifes law; what you live in your thought world, that, sooner or later, you will find objectified in your life
- I really really really miss my husband
- I need to get my lawn moved very soon, I've been working on flower beds and thinking of putting a stream from the highest point to the lowest point on the side of the drive.
- Do you know that you cannot tell an idiot that he/she is an idiot, because he/she IS an idiot...(Now i finally understand)
- We often settle as human beings simply because we dont believe we deserve anymore than that and with that thought process we never will
- I need a good long road trip, with no destination and time restraints. Just to drive and see things and stop whenever the mood hits
- We should celebrate our happiness in life, our success's and even sometimes our sadness. Sometimes it's the next step.
- Not everyone wants something from you, some people just sincerely want to be by your side
- Karma, death and God are absolutes.
- Your children will unfairly judge you until they become parents to a teenager.
- It is more important to teach your children with example than discipline
- I think I might have a slight concussion
- I love the warm weather and am ready to start bbq'ing
- I am driven, inspired and scared. But still strive daily.
- We achieve that which we seek
- I need to finish painting my house, I need to choose a color
- God brings you through the fire to get you to the next stage, acknowledging and learning from the fire is your responsibility and if you don't get the first time the fire never goes out. We have to listen and reach out to him to be able to follow his Will. Satan loves to fool us with easy paths, promises of security,etc, but real honest peace only comes from following God's chosen path.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wine tasting #3
I decided this time to go pick out the wine. So I decide a Chardonnay this time.
We are at home (not in the motel) so I actually can serve it in real wine glasses. Prior to my first glass of wine, I had already had a couple beers. After two glasses of wine, I was, well...I guess you'd just have to say drunk, my hubby was loving enough to let me lay my head on his lap while the room spun....LOL I know your laughing cause most of you know that my tolerance is way above that, but seriously I was concerned. I asked him, "Did you put something in my drink?" He just laughed. Sometime later that night he woke me up to go to bed.
The next evening after supper we decided to have another glass of wine. Now I add two glasses the night before so I'm expecting we have plenty....NO, that's not the case. I bought a box and a bottle, Obviously Walker likes Chardonnay very much, there is barely enough for two glasses left in the box. There is still a bottle stashed to the back of the frig though. So yes, we finished both that night...I do like that and slept like a baby, I think we've mastered the taste test. :)
We are at home (not in the motel) so I actually can serve it in real wine glasses. Prior to my first glass of wine, I had already had a couple beers. After two glasses of wine, I was, well...I guess you'd just have to say drunk, my hubby was loving enough to let me lay my head on his lap while the room spun....LOL I know your laughing cause most of you know that my tolerance is way above that, but seriously I was concerned. I asked him, "Did you put something in my drink?" He just laughed. Sometime later that night he woke me up to go to bed.
The next evening after supper we decided to have another glass of wine. Now I add two glasses the night before so I'm expecting we have plenty....NO, that's not the case. I bought a box and a bottle, Obviously Walker likes Chardonnay very much, there is barely enough for two glasses left in the box. There is still a bottle stashed to the back of the frig though. So yes, we finished both that night...I do like that and slept like a baby, I think we've mastered the taste test. :)
Now what?
Well early this morning my husband left to return to his home in North Carolina. If you know us, you know the stint for Oil and Gas is temporarily postponed (at least for me) Hubby says it's over for him... The last two weeks here we have spent getting his business started back up. North Carolina is what he knows and where he wants to be. And though I'm thinking that we are still just newlyweds and shouldn't be spending time apart, it's probably necessary til "we" each individually decide what to do with our futures.
The idea I guess is that I'll somehow run "his" company, and have set it up so that I could do that from Oklahoma or North Carolina. It all sounds good right now and maybe it'll even work, who knows. In the meantime, I have to wonder, what do I do with my time now? Maybe some of you are thinking, well you should of went with...Maybe so, but I have a granddaughter that may possibly have to have heart surgery in a few weeks and I wanted to hang around and make sure things went well. North Carolina is a long way from home, you can't just jump in the car and be here in a few hours.
So though I plan to follow him in about three weeks, that's three weeks, I have nothing to do. I'm not used to not working and I've already been off for a month almost. If you know me, you know this is really tormenting my obsessive/complusiveness. I need to be working, whether that's research, data entry or slinging hash (which is what I'd prefer by the way) I need to be doing it. Hopefully I'll be able to write quiet a bit during this time...Sorry if the subjects aren't fun during this time :)
I want to open a restuarant, it's been my desire since I was about 16 years old. I'm at a point now in my life that I believe I could open a restuarant and be successful. Yes, I know times are not good, but all people go out to eat, whether good or bad economy and I do know this first hand after being in the business after 25+ years. My dilemma would be, that if Hubby's business is succcessful in North Carolina, that's probably where we will end up living the majority of the time. But I have a daughter that I forced the F&B business on, that also has it in her genes and "our" dream was always to joint venture this little diner/cafe etc....We even already have this business named for years and have agreed on the decor and menu, this isn't just a last minute thought. It's a well-laid out plan.
Essentially that means that opening a food place in North Carolina won't fit the bill....
Over the last few weeks, it seems that the doors are just opening for the time to open my own. There are several for lease here in Duncan and this general area. I'm in a position and a time in my life where I'm ready and Jenn is itching as much as me to get started. LOL....
I dont know what I'll do, I suppose I could do both. But the traditional part of me would like to lay down with my husband every night and not make do with a long distance phone call.
Maybe I'll just get it started and let Jenn run it....
The idea I guess is that I'll somehow run "his" company, and have set it up so that I could do that from Oklahoma or North Carolina. It all sounds good right now and maybe it'll even work, who knows. In the meantime, I have to wonder, what do I do with my time now? Maybe some of you are thinking, well you should of went with...Maybe so, but I have a granddaughter that may possibly have to have heart surgery in a few weeks and I wanted to hang around and make sure things went well. North Carolina is a long way from home, you can't just jump in the car and be here in a few hours.
So though I plan to follow him in about three weeks, that's three weeks, I have nothing to do. I'm not used to not working and I've already been off for a month almost. If you know me, you know this is really tormenting my obsessive/complusiveness. I need to be working, whether that's research, data entry or slinging hash (which is what I'd prefer by the way) I need to be doing it. Hopefully I'll be able to write quiet a bit during this time...Sorry if the subjects aren't fun during this time :)
I want to open a restuarant, it's been my desire since I was about 16 years old. I'm at a point now in my life that I believe I could open a restuarant and be successful. Yes, I know times are not good, but all people go out to eat, whether good or bad economy and I do know this first hand after being in the business after 25+ years. My dilemma would be, that if Hubby's business is succcessful in North Carolina, that's probably where we will end up living the majority of the time. But I have a daughter that I forced the F&B business on, that also has it in her genes and "our" dream was always to joint venture this little diner/cafe etc....We even already have this business named for years and have agreed on the decor and menu, this isn't just a last minute thought. It's a well-laid out plan.
Essentially that means that opening a food place in North Carolina won't fit the bill....
Over the last few weeks, it seems that the doors are just opening for the time to open my own. There are several for lease here in Duncan and this general area. I'm in a position and a time in my life where I'm ready and Jenn is itching as much as me to get started. LOL....
I dont know what I'll do, I suppose I could do both. But the traditional part of me would like to lay down with my husband every night and not make do with a long distance phone call.
Maybe I'll just get it started and let Jenn run it....
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Why I hate Valentines day........
In grade school it was fun....you bought valentines cards for everyone and you got one back for every one you gave. There was a little classroom party usually with cupcakes and lots of excitement. This is probably where the expectations started...As you never had to look and wonder why Bob didn't give you a valentines, it was mandatory!
That's what i hate about it today, it's still mandatory! Well, at least it is if you are coupled up. (If you are single on Valentines day, well that's a whole other blog but single ladies, dont forget yourself, go get that belt you've been eyeing that's over a hundred bucks and really treat yourself. It's still your day and you won't have no disappointments if you are treating yourself.)
And if you dont get anything, then the disappointment follows. But here's what I want to say about that. I dont want a damn heart box of chocolate (it's not that great), I dont want flowers that will die next week and remind me that you didn't even put thought into a purchase. I dont want another piece of jewelry that you feel obligated to give me. Dont get me wrong, all women like jewelry to an extent but why do we have to wait for Valentines day to get it?
I want Walmart to remove the Valentines aisle that allows men to walk in and pick something up without giving a second thought to the reason they are even there. That aisle cripples their brain, removes any creativity that might have been there to begin with and enables them to pick and choose as a robot what little distinctive gift shows their love!!!!!! BS!
And I dont even want there to be a day designated to say you love me! How about any day? On a monday that's rainy or snowy or sunny, choose that day to say you love me and show it in some form. Perferrably not in a material way. How can spending money on me show the depth of your love? Money is easy, I want the thought, the motive behind. I want the real depth of your emotions to flow through with just one thoughtful little gesture that day.
All women want something for Valentines day, we've been conditioned to believe that it's an acceptable day for just such a little trinket, but what we really want is for you to think about it. The candy and flowers are acceptable, really they are but to us it's just a settlement because you didn't think about anything else. It'll keep you out of the dog house no doubt but I dont think it'll gain you many more points down the road. A little note expressing your love or appreciation, my first hot cup of coffee that i didn't have to get up and make myself. A new book to read. Or my car washed and maintenanced without me having to ask. An hour of my tv show that holds absolutely no interest to you. Hell, I'd love a foot rub. I'm not much for purchaseable romance, it seems all so unthoughtful. Romance truly isn't about buying me something and to me seems so distant and cold. Maybe the writer in me is just a sucker for nice words. They stay true.
These things I will treasure...these things I will remember when I'm 80. The flowers will be forgotten, the candy will too. I'll save the card but I probably wont remember what gift came with it.
So in preparation for Valentines Day, think of what he/she means to you, and then take the time to tell them in your most sincerest form. Think about one little thing that they would probably like to have done for them on this day and do it for them. Show them in a real way that you love them today and everyday.
That's what i hate about it today, it's still mandatory! Well, at least it is if you are coupled up. (If you are single on Valentines day, well that's a whole other blog but single ladies, dont forget yourself, go get that belt you've been eyeing that's over a hundred bucks and really treat yourself. It's still your day and you won't have no disappointments if you are treating yourself.)
And if you dont get anything, then the disappointment follows. But here's what I want to say about that. I dont want a damn heart box of chocolate (it's not that great), I dont want flowers that will die next week and remind me that you didn't even put thought into a purchase. I dont want another piece of jewelry that you feel obligated to give me. Dont get me wrong, all women like jewelry to an extent but why do we have to wait for Valentines day to get it?
I want Walmart to remove the Valentines aisle that allows men to walk in and pick something up without giving a second thought to the reason they are even there. That aisle cripples their brain, removes any creativity that might have been there to begin with and enables them to pick and choose as a robot what little distinctive gift shows their love!!!!!! BS!
And I dont even want there to be a day designated to say you love me! How about any day? On a monday that's rainy or snowy or sunny, choose that day to say you love me and show it in some form. Perferrably not in a material way. How can spending money on me show the depth of your love? Money is easy, I want the thought, the motive behind. I want the real depth of your emotions to flow through with just one thoughtful little gesture that day.
All women want something for Valentines day, we've been conditioned to believe that it's an acceptable day for just such a little trinket, but what we really want is for you to think about it. The candy and flowers are acceptable, really they are but to us it's just a settlement because you didn't think about anything else. It'll keep you out of the dog house no doubt but I dont think it'll gain you many more points down the road. A little note expressing your love or appreciation, my first hot cup of coffee that i didn't have to get up and make myself. A new book to read. Or my car washed and maintenanced without me having to ask. An hour of my tv show that holds absolutely no interest to you. Hell, I'd love a foot rub. I'm not much for purchaseable romance, it seems all so unthoughtful. Romance truly isn't about buying me something and to me seems so distant and cold. Maybe the writer in me is just a sucker for nice words. They stay true.
These things I will treasure...these things I will remember when I'm 80. The flowers will be forgotten, the candy will too. I'll save the card but I probably wont remember what gift came with it.
So in preparation for Valentines Day, think of what he/she means to you, and then take the time to tell them in your most sincerest form. Think about one little thing that they would probably like to have done for them on this day and do it for them. Show them in a real way that you love them today and everyday.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The call....
Travis and I stopped at Braum;s tonight to have supper. Sitting in the opposite booth of us was an older man. His phone rings....after a few minutes of adamantly trying not to hear his conversation, it's apparent that this man is talking to a child of his recently deceased widow. He's bought a smaller house and wishes them to come get some of the stuff he no longer has room for. By now I can't help but listen, though I've tried not to eaves drop this whole time, as I look at my husband I realize he has also heard the conversation. Fighting tears, I tell Travis, this is the call I hope we never have to take.
Inevitably we both know we will....and I think the reality of that sometimes takes over our daily lives. I've already buried one parent and for that week, I felt as if the world had stopped, I can't imagine doing it again. You want to plan, you want to be thorough, but there's no way to approach the subject. My step-father has been diagnosed for the last 5 years with a terminal illness, now's he's a stubborn man and may outlive all of us but the fact remains that it's there. My parents sometimes force me to have the conversation, I dont like it and I fight it but they give me no alternative. There's no way to prepare yourself for the loss of the those who bore you. And they talk details, nothing is mentioned about how to go on...Maybe they dont know and they are trying to make me come to terms with it but I just dont know where to go AFTER that.
I guess that's all our greastest fears is those that we leave behind. I know it is for me, I often think of my children and family after I'm gone and will they be ok....I dont think we are ever ok, nothing is ever the same again and words not spoken are left there in the memory of those left here.
I think the saddest thing is that parent that leaves the other behind....If you've spent your entire life with someone, having them suddenly not there has the be the loneliest feeling that there could possibly be.
That man sitting there in that booth tonight was totally alone and his call wasn't at all about what was left behind but maybe just about seeing those kids again and having some company. There was nothing we could do for him and prayers seem fruitless now....I do hope those children realize that that call was one of desperation and take some of their time to see to his needs.
Inevitably we both know we will....and I think the reality of that sometimes takes over our daily lives. I've already buried one parent and for that week, I felt as if the world had stopped, I can't imagine doing it again. You want to plan, you want to be thorough, but there's no way to approach the subject. My step-father has been diagnosed for the last 5 years with a terminal illness, now's he's a stubborn man and may outlive all of us but the fact remains that it's there. My parents sometimes force me to have the conversation, I dont like it and I fight it but they give me no alternative. There's no way to prepare yourself for the loss of the those who bore you. And they talk details, nothing is mentioned about how to go on...Maybe they dont know and they are trying to make me come to terms with it but I just dont know where to go AFTER that.
I guess that's all our greastest fears is those that we leave behind. I know it is for me, I often think of my children and family after I'm gone and will they be ok....I dont think we are ever ok, nothing is ever the same again and words not spoken are left there in the memory of those left here.
I think the saddest thing is that parent that leaves the other behind....If you've spent your entire life with someone, having them suddenly not there has the be the loneliest feeling that there could possibly be.
That man sitting there in that booth tonight was totally alone and his call wasn't at all about what was left behind but maybe just about seeing those kids again and having some company. There was nothing we could do for him and prayers seem fruitless now....I do hope those children realize that that call was one of desperation and take some of their time to see to his needs.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Fellow Bloggers...
Im amazed at technology, I'm amazed the extent of free speech has gone to. Now before you get all uppity on me, yes I'm totally guilty here and I fully admit that. And I'd have to say that my friend "Bud Light" is partly responsible for tonights blog. That and my husband being "God knows where" and I have no one to talk to.
So, we all blog, we all read each other and sometimes the temptation to see another's life is too much to resist, especially when it's put out there for all the world to see. Jenn, my youngest, thinks this is totally repulsive and believes that it's not right for you to voice every single opinion to the world. (Yet, she's the kid at school that told everything LOL)
Personally I dont really give a crap (sorry that's my alternate personality Bud talking), if i got something to say, I'm just as likely to say it to you as I am in a blog. I honestly think the blog is a better way cause maybe you can tell yourself it really wasn't about you. And then I'm not hurting anyone's feelings. Oh, hell what am I saying, I've never been one to give a hoot about your feelings (Damn, Bud be easy on these people)
And I've discovered that all this amatuer writing going on has somewhat made me a star, a guest appearance star.. Yippee!!! No really I am appreciative, really I am. I've been cast as the lover, the fighter and the one that you wish would just go away. Sorry, but that's probably not gonna happen and you keep giving me life!!! Come on!
I have to say that you keep me smiling, I laugh even if I'm the subject. I really enjoy your writing. I mean, hell, who doesn't enjoy seeing themselves in print. And that's actually what we are all hoping for someday anyway right, to see our name in print. Personally I hope mine's on the sleeve of a best selling book but I'll take what I can get.
So really this blog isn't about all this, yes i do change my mind quiet often. This is about what inspires us, what moves us and what motivates us. I write mostly out of pain, I hate it and wish i could find another avenue but I find that pain motivates more words than anything else I've ever experienced. I'm working on other senses to move me, to make the words appear but so far pain is the most productive so I stay with it. For some, it's life events and still others it's great advice. Some even use comedy, wiseassness (yes it's a word) Maybe it's a cookbook, or a book for Dummies (someone definitely got rich there) Whatever moves you, use it. I'm not dogging you, I'm not telling you to do anything different, I believe it's what was given us. And somewhere, just the courage to put it out there makes the subject worthwhile. So no, I probably won't stop writing and if find you are the subject that given day then be honored that I thought enough about you to say a few words. And those of you that mention me, in a good way or a bad way, at least you've given me validation and sometimes that's really all we are looking for.
So, we all blog, we all read each other and sometimes the temptation to see another's life is too much to resist, especially when it's put out there for all the world to see. Jenn, my youngest, thinks this is totally repulsive and believes that it's not right for you to voice every single opinion to the world. (Yet, she's the kid at school that told everything LOL)
Personally I dont really give a crap (sorry that's my alternate personality Bud talking), if i got something to say, I'm just as likely to say it to you as I am in a blog. I honestly think the blog is a better way cause maybe you can tell yourself it really wasn't about you. And then I'm not hurting anyone's feelings. Oh, hell what am I saying, I've never been one to give a hoot about your feelings (Damn, Bud be easy on these people)
And I've discovered that all this amatuer writing going on has somewhat made me a star, a guest appearance star.. Yippee!!! No really I am appreciative, really I am. I've been cast as the lover, the fighter and the one that you wish would just go away. Sorry, but that's probably not gonna happen and you keep giving me life!!! Come on!
I have to say that you keep me smiling, I laugh even if I'm the subject. I really enjoy your writing. I mean, hell, who doesn't enjoy seeing themselves in print. And that's actually what we are all hoping for someday anyway right, to see our name in print. Personally I hope mine's on the sleeve of a best selling book but I'll take what I can get.
So really this blog isn't about all this, yes i do change my mind quiet often. This is about what inspires us, what moves us and what motivates us. I write mostly out of pain, I hate it and wish i could find another avenue but I find that pain motivates more words than anything else I've ever experienced. I'm working on other senses to move me, to make the words appear but so far pain is the most productive so I stay with it. For some, it's life events and still others it's great advice. Some even use comedy, wiseassness (yes it's a word) Maybe it's a cookbook, or a book for Dummies (someone definitely got rich there) Whatever moves you, use it. I'm not dogging you, I'm not telling you to do anything different, I believe it's what was given us. And somewhere, just the courage to put it out there makes the subject worthwhile. So no, I probably won't stop writing and if find you are the subject that given day then be honored that I thought enough about you to say a few words. And those of you that mention me, in a good way or a bad way, at least you've given me validation and sometimes that's really all we are looking for.
So I now want a new puppy
Yep....I've decided it's time for another dog. I want a Yorkie or Maltese. Maybe I'm really experiencing "empty nest" in the most rare form. I dont know, but I need someone to take care of and though my kids sometimes still need Mama. I need that unconditional acceptance.
I've researched this, actually there's not many ideas I come up with that I dont intensely research. I've looked at breeders from all over the country. Some of very very proud of their offspring. I understand it's a way of living but dont out price yourself is my motto. Your dog may have the cutest bow I've ever seen but i doubt it's worth a 1000 more than the just regular bow.
I've done this before....the last animals I had, I kindly gave up for my career and lack of ever being home"Oh no, not again" LOL I've yearned for an animal and researched and past experience has taught me that my oldest daughter has this down to an art, so I enlisted her help. Man, I was not prepared for her war against thoughtless, heartless dog breeders. But I know her, we used to have to keep her from watching the news in case there were sad stories. So after her ranting for several minutes about how people just populate the dog population without ever giving a crap about the actual animal, (I actually had an ex that had animals only to help him deal in his business and they were caged and used at need) so, I realized that she had a very valid point. So a shelter is where we headed. I found many...all over. I've applied, yes they do require an application, they want to know what kind of condition your pet will be living in. Hey, you think DHS outta pick up on this? No luck so far but soon I'll have that little lap dog that will have a need for a momma, and I'm just the one to be there.
I've researched this, actually there's not many ideas I come up with that I dont intensely research. I've looked at breeders from all over the country. Some of very very proud of their offspring. I understand it's a way of living but dont out price yourself is my motto. Your dog may have the cutest bow I've ever seen but i doubt it's worth a 1000 more than the just regular bow.
I've done this before....the last animals I had, I kindly gave up for my career and lack of ever being home"Oh no, not again" LOL I've yearned for an animal and researched and past experience has taught me that my oldest daughter has this down to an art, so I enlisted her help. Man, I was not prepared for her war against thoughtless, heartless dog breeders. But I know her, we used to have to keep her from watching the news in case there were sad stories. So after her ranting for several minutes about how people just populate the dog population without ever giving a crap about the actual animal, (I actually had an ex that had animals only to help him deal in his business and they were caged and used at need) so, I realized that she had a very valid point. So a shelter is where we headed. I found many...all over. I've applied, yes they do require an application, they want to know what kind of condition your pet will be living in. Hey, you think DHS outta pick up on this? No luck so far but soon I'll have that little lap dog that will have a need for a momma, and I'm just the one to be there.
I flew back from ND last Thursday, my husband flew to NC. If you keep up with these blogs, you know that we had recently been told that we could come to work from home. So this being the last airflight that would be reimbursed by the company, we decided to each go to our seperate homes. It was my birthday and Rose and I had some "big girl" things planned LOL...In reality we just gambled, drank some beer and talked shit on people. That's just how we roll dog. So the initial plan was that we would both fly back out to ND on Tuesday and get our truck with our belongings and head back to Okie land. Due to circumstances beyond my control, like the very dramatic way Oklahoma predicts storms, I couldn't fly out. So my husband arrives in ND about 10:30 pm, planning to drive pretty much straight through I expected to see him today around 5pm....After all, he's been gone for 5 days and since the day we got married we've mostly sat within feet of each other and I was kinda missing him and his smart ass. Well, around 5 pm today guess where my husband was sitting? Hahaha...somewhere right outside of Casper, Wyoming, now if my figures are right that's quiet a bit west of where he needed to be...And he tells me the roads are shut down. REALLY? Imagine that, a storm from the North forcasted and another one in the middle of the US.....He's a road tripper, even his logo names are Road Trip. So am I shocked, not really. He still amazes me, in wonderful ways and exasperating ways, either way the thrill is still there I suppose.
I forgot to mention that on my birthday right before the big celebration I get word that our client has decided to postpone the project....So as i'm celebrating turning a whole 45 friggin years, I get to think about my life and what I should do now. Which frankly was Trav's reasonings when I asked what he was thinking. That exactly it, he was thinking "Hey I dont have a job to do right now so I might as well go see the Rocky Mountains" I fought 6 inches of pure solid ice this morning to clear off my windshield to go to the grocery store so that I could prepare a nice meal for my husband, I even bought his brand of beer and was going to make my new fabulous "Lemon Amaretto Bundt Cake" (if interested email me and I'll send the recipe, believe me it's worth some brownie points)
So I have to re-vamp my plans for today. No need to cook, I'll just have a sandwich and some of my homemade hot sauce. I decided to rearrange my bedroom. That's all cool until you think about this, I weight about 130 lbs and my bed weighs about 500, LOL....Not including a chest of drawers, dresser, two night stands and two cedar chests. But I'm determined. So I haul off the king size mattress, the two box springs, and I look at the massive headboard which I swear weighs about 100 lbs all alone, not counting the 4 ft high footboard easily clearing another 50 lbs...If you know me, you know most things won't beat me, I can't say if that's a fault or a credit. But inch by inch I moved it. As i was walking down the hall I noticed the "girls" room (that's girls because I have 6 granddaughters) and thought well hell I've been watching HGTV, I have a good idea for their bedroom, so a little more rearranging in there and I figured I was done. Then I remembered that I had new hardware to install in the kitchen. Prior trip before this we re-vamped it and I had one more little touch to do. So I did.
So now...well into the night, my husband is probably somewhere in Nebraska, probably at a rest area if I know him cause he's too stubborn to pull over and get a room. I'm sitting in the living area wondering what's next....I'll tell you what's next, its that Bud Light that has become my friend and enemy over the years. So this is really a warning....I'm off work for the time being and I expect that I'll be writing quiet a bit.
I'll be working on having a decent body (for a 45 year old) for the June Caymen Island Trip...I'm so excited I can't wait. And I'm sure hubby and I will see some places. Maybe I'll get my wood floors put down. Whatever we do, I expect to fully enjoy my time off for a bit anyway, til someone says "Hey, you gotta go back to work" LOL
I forgot to mention that on my birthday right before the big celebration I get word that our client has decided to postpone the project....So as i'm celebrating turning a whole 45 friggin years, I get to think about my life and what I should do now. Which frankly was Trav's reasonings when I asked what he was thinking. That exactly it, he was thinking "Hey I dont have a job to do right now so I might as well go see the Rocky Mountains" I fought 6 inches of pure solid ice this morning to clear off my windshield to go to the grocery store so that I could prepare a nice meal for my husband, I even bought his brand of beer and was going to make my new fabulous "Lemon Amaretto Bundt Cake" (if interested email me and I'll send the recipe, believe me it's worth some brownie points)
So I have to re-vamp my plans for today. No need to cook, I'll just have a sandwich and some of my homemade hot sauce. I decided to rearrange my bedroom. That's all cool until you think about this, I weight about 130 lbs and my bed weighs about 500, LOL....Not including a chest of drawers, dresser, two night stands and two cedar chests. But I'm determined. So I haul off the king size mattress, the two box springs, and I look at the massive headboard which I swear weighs about 100 lbs all alone, not counting the 4 ft high footboard easily clearing another 50 lbs...If you know me, you know most things won't beat me, I can't say if that's a fault or a credit. But inch by inch I moved it. As i was walking down the hall I noticed the "girls" room (that's girls because I have 6 granddaughters) and thought well hell I've been watching HGTV, I have a good idea for their bedroom, so a little more rearranging in there and I figured I was done. Then I remembered that I had new hardware to install in the kitchen. Prior trip before this we re-vamped it and I had one more little touch to do. So I did.
So now...well into the night, my husband is probably somewhere in Nebraska, probably at a rest area if I know him cause he's too stubborn to pull over and get a room. I'm sitting in the living area wondering what's next....I'll tell you what's next, its that Bud Light that has become my friend and enemy over the years. So this is really a warning....I'm off work for the time being and I expect that I'll be writing quiet a bit.
I'll be working on having a decent body (for a 45 year old) for the June Caymen Island Trip...I'm so excited I can't wait. And I'm sure hubby and I will see some places. Maybe I'll get my wood floors put down. Whatever we do, I expect to fully enjoy my time off for a bit anyway, til someone says "Hey, you gotta go back to work" LOL
Monday, January 26, 2009
In search of....
A fresh new outlook, a new direction. Opportunity has presented itself in my lap and I'm not sure where to go with it. Its like a blank canvas, a brand new book in which you have no idea of the ending.
I'd like to do a Rand-mcnally search on the internet and find that the path has clearly been laid out, but what I would find in reality is a map with lots of detours, forks and still the decision would be laid within the depths of my mind. So instead of an internet search I suppose I'm still left with an internal search of my heart and mind.
I find that I need to gather all the information before I can make a decision so I'm seeking that first, the result will come only after the prep work.
Many times in our life when at the crossroads, we tend to fall back to our comfort zone. Rarely do we just take a deep breath and try to sort the best possible course of action, instead we just re-act. And it may work, it has before, it might again. But I'm not sure that means that it's the best course of action. So I find myself taking that deep breath...really deep breath. Actually alot of them. Every fork, every detour has the element of fear, doubt and uncertainty.
So how do you know which way to go? In our ultimate search there is only one path that will be completely clear, one that has been paved clean and only one with an open door. That's the path that is intended and it's up to me to be able to see it clearly and feel the peace within.
I'd like to do a Rand-mcnally search on the internet and find that the path has clearly been laid out, but what I would find in reality is a map with lots of detours, forks and still the decision would be laid within the depths of my mind. So instead of an internet search I suppose I'm still left with an internal search of my heart and mind.
I find that I need to gather all the information before I can make a decision so I'm seeking that first, the result will come only after the prep work.
Many times in our life when at the crossroads, we tend to fall back to our comfort zone. Rarely do we just take a deep breath and try to sort the best possible course of action, instead we just re-act. And it may work, it has before, it might again. But I'm not sure that means that it's the best course of action. So I find myself taking that deep breath...really deep breath. Actually alot of them. Every fork, every detour has the element of fear, doubt and uncertainty.
So how do you know which way to go? In our ultimate search there is only one path that will be completely clear, one that has been paved clean and only one with an open door. That's the path that is intended and it's up to me to be able to see it clearly and feel the peace within.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
I'm home!!!! That's the most comforting feeling I've had in several years, actually surpasses most emotions I've experienced. LOL...You just have to have been in my shoes the last year plus to realize the real ramifications of what "I'm home" actually means.
Ok on to better stuff.....the day just couldn't get any better than it has been...The flights were on time, the ride home was eventful and informative, though Liza has now associated the airport with her Nana leaving for weeks on time and voiced this with an "Ant...Ant" It only took a few hugs, a few Liza liza liza's and a piece of gum to get her to come back over to Nana's side. Stopping by to see the Dixon girls they immediately wanted to know if they could ride a place with Nana, Marley insisted it would be right now!!! Then the travel agent got in touch with me and we are officially booked for the Caymen Island Cruise in June!!!! Yeah!!!!! All inclusive drinks??? Hell yeah I'm there! Upon returning home, I checked things out as I normally do, to make sure that someone hasn't robbed me blind, I mean I got valuables :) But Dad had left his bday gift for me, the new and improved and larger than life George Foreman Grill...I had a bonus check sitting on the bar....time for something new!!! I mean it's a bonus right....maybe new furniture, new floors etc...
Meanwhile Rose called to confirm plans for tomorrow night...she insisted since tomorrow is my birthday that lady luck will be running with us as we enter the Duncan Casino....we will only stay a while, before we head off to the Rooster or High Chapparel in Marlow, hell maybe we will do both...Rose and I haven't had a night out without the hubbys' since my bachlorette....or maybe we will fall into our wifely roles and just stay in LOL...whatever we decide it's a guaranteed good time with Rose and I....I guess you'd just have to know us to know that.
So tomorrow I'm turning 45, so what...It really is okay....Am I old, probably, am I too old, Definitely not. I can still hang with the best of them. I saw some lady on a harley today riding with her pack and was just thinking that I'm exactly the right age (sorry baby) My child rearing ages are over and though I'm a Nana, I'm still the cool Nana. My grandsons would be over the top riding behind Nana on a Harley...
I have lots of things in life left to do...things to see, experience and file in that ever loving memories category...
As Mom always said "Life just begins at 40".....
Ok on to better stuff.....the day just couldn't get any better than it has been...The flights were on time, the ride home was eventful and informative, though Liza has now associated the airport with her Nana leaving for weeks on time and voiced this with an "Ant...Ant" It only took a few hugs, a few Liza liza liza's and a piece of gum to get her to come back over to Nana's side. Stopping by to see the Dixon girls they immediately wanted to know if they could ride a place with Nana, Marley insisted it would be right now!!! Then the travel agent got in touch with me and we are officially booked for the Caymen Island Cruise in June!!!! Yeah!!!!! All inclusive drinks??? Hell yeah I'm there! Upon returning home, I checked things out as I normally do, to make sure that someone hasn't robbed me blind, I mean I got valuables :) But Dad had left his bday gift for me, the new and improved and larger than life George Foreman Grill...I had a bonus check sitting on the bar....time for something new!!! I mean it's a bonus right....maybe new furniture, new floors etc...
Meanwhile Rose called to confirm plans for tomorrow night...she insisted since tomorrow is my birthday that lady luck will be running with us as we enter the Duncan Casino....we will only stay a while, before we head off to the Rooster or High Chapparel in Marlow, hell maybe we will do both...Rose and I haven't had a night out without the hubbys' since my bachlorette....or maybe we will fall into our wifely roles and just stay in LOL...whatever we decide it's a guaranteed good time with Rose and I....I guess you'd just have to know us to know that.
So tomorrow I'm turning 45, so what...It really is okay....Am I old, probably, am I too old, Definitely not. I can still hang with the best of them. I saw some lady on a harley today riding with her pack and was just thinking that I'm exactly the right age (sorry baby) My child rearing ages are over and though I'm a Nana, I'm still the cool Nana. My grandsons would be over the top riding behind Nana on a Harley...
I have lots of things in life left to do...things to see, experience and file in that ever loving memories category...
As Mom always said "Life just begins at 40".....
Monday, January 19, 2009
Milestones
Lord in just a few short days, I'll be turning 45. I believe that's some sort of milestone. Isn't that considered "middle age" LOL
I dont feel 45, well most of the time anyway. I feel energetic, hopeful and ready to explore what's left of the world that I haven't seen. 45 certainly doesn't feel as it sounded when I was 20.
In my lifetime, I've loved, been loved...I've lost loves, family members and opportunities, but each time I gained new insight, new hopes and new dreams. Every experience I've gone through has been vital for my growth, for the place I am in the here and now. I'm a typical 45 year old, I have regrets, I have guilt, I have pain. But it all strengthened me and humbled me when needed and sorted into appropriate places.
I am in the place I planned to be, I find that I'm more successful than I had hoped for and more blessed than I deserve. I have reached and re-set goals my entire life. I've surpassed what someone said a single woman could do. And today, I'm not bitter, resentful or in a place I'm not happy with. That alone is rewarding.
I have a wonderful family that means the world to me, I have friends that are rewarding to me and I have 6 wonderful children that I love more than life itself. You can't ask for much more than that.
I didn't by any means do everything right in my life.....:) I did what I knew to do at the time and I tried to learn from each mistake.
I'm happy with my life, and though I still have a ways to go, I expect that in the very end, I'll still be able to utter those words.
I dont feel 45, well most of the time anyway. I feel energetic, hopeful and ready to explore what's left of the world that I haven't seen. 45 certainly doesn't feel as it sounded when I was 20.
In my lifetime, I've loved, been loved...I've lost loves, family members and opportunities, but each time I gained new insight, new hopes and new dreams. Every experience I've gone through has been vital for my growth, for the place I am in the here and now. I'm a typical 45 year old, I have regrets, I have guilt, I have pain. But it all strengthened me and humbled me when needed and sorted into appropriate places.
I am in the place I planned to be, I find that I'm more successful than I had hoped for and more blessed than I deserve. I have reached and re-set goals my entire life. I've surpassed what someone said a single woman could do. And today, I'm not bitter, resentful or in a place I'm not happy with. That alone is rewarding.
I have a wonderful family that means the world to me, I have friends that are rewarding to me and I have 6 wonderful children that I love more than life itself. You can't ask for much more than that.
I didn't by any means do everything right in my life.....:) I did what I knew to do at the time and I tried to learn from each mistake.
I'm happy with my life, and though I still have a ways to go, I expect that in the very end, I'll still be able to utter those words.
Wine testing #2
Our second round with wine testing we went with the fruity one in the box LOL...Yeah, I know. So much for sophistication...
It wasn't that great and I definitely had to add the "beer chaser" to it....
It's a box so we sipped on it for several nights, I kept just hoping that the next glass would be the last....I finally gave up after night #3, though Trav continued for a few more nights, the box finally made it to the dumpster yesterday about half full.
I'm not a quitter and I actually like the relaxation that drinking a glass of wine or two brings so we will keep experimenting til we find the one for us. :)
It wasn't that great and I definitely had to add the "beer chaser" to it....
It's a box so we sipped on it for several nights, I kept just hoping that the next glass would be the last....I finally gave up after night #3, though Trav continued for a few more nights, the box finally made it to the dumpster yesterday about half full.
I'm not a quitter and I actually like the relaxation that drinking a glass of wine or two brings so we will keep experimenting til we find the one for us. :)
Farewell, Dickinson, North Dakota
A phone call from the higher ups isn't always pleasant, "Hi, Tom" I'm left with just wondering if we just got walking papers. Finally the phone is handed to me, and Tom tells me that we are going home. Not fired, but actually going to work from home.
Now I knew this was the better plan three months ago, but I've learned not to argue with who signs my paycheck. With the client paying 24k a day in expenses and we can do almost all the work on a program online, it made no sense to me to keep us holed up in a motel room in ND...Ok, so at least I'm grateful someone finally got it. And I've raked in extra moolah in expenses while I was here.
So now this week we are going home. Travis and I literally live in two different places, since we've been married we haven't really merged as most couples usually do, my home and stuff remains in Duncan and his remains in Lenoir. So where do we go? Well since we've closed up the home in Lenoir for the winter, it just makes better sense to go back to Oklahoma for the time being. We will have to get the other home open and ready to do business there as well and then we can go back and forth between the two homes.
I'm extremely grateful for this news, you all know how much I've hated it here...It also is a premonition of what may be to come as far as my career in Oil and Gas. I've bugged Travis for months about "Plan B", he wasn't interested in looking that far ahead. Now it's too close to ignore. Plan B will be to re-start and re-vamp Walker, Ltd, his business he left in NC...That means I may be doing double duty for a while trying to get that going and continue with this. I'll stay with this as long as I can though, it's just what I do.
Later this week, we will pack up this motel room. When I check out, I won't be holding the room..YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll be spending this birthday weekend at home with my best friend Rose and I think we are going to have a good time. Two celebrations in one!
Travis will come to Oklahoma on Wednesday, I'll have the office set up to begin work.
I'm excited and thankful that God once again answered another of my prayers.
Now I knew this was the better plan three months ago, but I've learned not to argue with who signs my paycheck. With the client paying 24k a day in expenses and we can do almost all the work on a program online, it made no sense to me to keep us holed up in a motel room in ND...Ok, so at least I'm grateful someone finally got it. And I've raked in extra moolah in expenses while I was here.
So now this week we are going home. Travis and I literally live in two different places, since we've been married we haven't really merged as most couples usually do, my home and stuff remains in Duncan and his remains in Lenoir. So where do we go? Well since we've closed up the home in Lenoir for the winter, it just makes better sense to go back to Oklahoma for the time being. We will have to get the other home open and ready to do business there as well and then we can go back and forth between the two homes.
I'm extremely grateful for this news, you all know how much I've hated it here...It also is a premonition of what may be to come as far as my career in Oil and Gas. I've bugged Travis for months about "Plan B", he wasn't interested in looking that far ahead. Now it's too close to ignore. Plan B will be to re-start and re-vamp Walker, Ltd, his business he left in NC...That means I may be doing double duty for a while trying to get that going and continue with this. I'll stay with this as long as I can though, it's just what I do.
Later this week, we will pack up this motel room. When I check out, I won't be holding the room..YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll be spending this birthday weekend at home with my best friend Rose and I think we are going to have a good time. Two celebrations in one!
Travis will come to Oklahoma on Wednesday, I'll have the office set up to begin work.
I'm excited and thankful that God once again answered another of my prayers.
Monday, January 12, 2009
My aunt is a columnist for the Elk City Daily News, I copied this piece with permission. I wanted to share with you her talents and since this one in particular is personal to my husband and I, I thought it would be the best one to share. Enjoy her writing and if interested to read more, please find her at http://aboutlifecolumn.blogspot.com and ask for an invite, or catch her columns "About Life" on Wednesdays in the Elk City Daily News.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
About Life.....Love That Never Dies
“Love doesn't make the world go 'round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” – Franklin P. Jones.
They dated in their late teens; she loved his strength, his honesty, his sense of humor. They had the same ideas, the same values, the same likes and dislikes. They wanted the same things from life. They broke up after several months over a misunderstanding and went their separate ways. Within a few years, both had married other people. Life did what life does, it twisted and turned and took them off in different directions and not long after, they lost track of each other.But each of them carried the other in their heart. A small corner reserved just for her – that special smile and the blue eyes that always sparkled so bright when he walked into the room. A corner reserved just for him, thoughts that passed like the rustling of the wind – someone walking down the street that walked like him, the way he used to laugh at her when she couldn’t remember the punch lines to her jokes. A bond they shared with each other, that was never quite the same with anyone else.Years went by and they had children, lived lives not quite full and then divorced. One day as she reminisced with her daughter-in-law about how she longed to find him again, to hear his voice, just to know he was doing well – happily married somewhere with two or three kids or however his life had turned out … And her daughter-in-law said “Why not find him on the internet?”And she did.The next day he left and drove over a thousand miles to spend the holiday with her and her family. As soon as he walked up to her she knew. She knew she had never loved another man the way she had loved this one. She knew she would never love another one the way she still loved him either. And he knew too.Late that night after everyone else had gone to bed, they sat out on her deck, the sound of crickets and night creatures singing on the soft summer breeze from the woods behind her house as they talked until the wee hours of morning about love, about life.Sometimes we pursue love with such diligence, with such determination and it seems so elusive to us. We seem to find everything but real love. We find people not right for us, love not deep enough or that doesn’t satisfy and relationships that don’t fulfill us. And then one day, there it is in all its glory, standing before us, and we find we had it all along and didn’t even know it. Someone in our present or someone from our past – and we realize that love has crept into the shadowy recesses of our hearts and taken over our thoughts without us realizing it was there. Instead of us pursuing it, it actually pursued us.Sometimes to find something, we just need to stop looking so hard for it. Sometimes we just need to get about the business of living and being who we were created to be, and it will come to us. When we stop building castles in the sky, constructing perfect lives in the imaginations of our hearts, it shows up.
They were married last July in a fairy tale wedding with all of nature as their backdrop. The last of the sun’s rays reflected softly off the lake behind them. Even the lake seemed to stand still in anticipation as at last they said I Do. The soft glow radiating from each of them said it all. They found it. Love that lasts a lifetime. Love that is there when you laugh and when you cry. A love with shared values, shared goals, a true sharing of life. Love that never dies.
“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Posted by Glynda Lomax at 7:21 PM 1 comments
Labels: About Life.....Love That Never Dies
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About Life.....Sudden Tragedy
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About Life.....The Gift of the Heart
About Life.....The Gift of Teachers
About Life.....Labeling Others
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About Life.....Self-Discipline
About Life.....Loneliness During the Holidays
About Life.....Today's Gifts
About Life.....Listening
About Life.....The Best Thanksgiving Yet
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Sunday, January 11, 2009
About Life.....Love That Never Dies
“Love doesn't make the world go 'round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” – Franklin P. Jones.
They dated in their late teens; she loved his strength, his honesty, his sense of humor. They had the same ideas, the same values, the same likes and dislikes. They wanted the same things from life. They broke up after several months over a misunderstanding and went their separate ways. Within a few years, both had married other people. Life did what life does, it twisted and turned and took them off in different directions and not long after, they lost track of each other.But each of them carried the other in their heart. A small corner reserved just for her – that special smile and the blue eyes that always sparkled so bright when he walked into the room. A corner reserved just for him, thoughts that passed like the rustling of the wind – someone walking down the street that walked like him, the way he used to laugh at her when she couldn’t remember the punch lines to her jokes. A bond they shared with each other, that was never quite the same with anyone else.Years went by and they had children, lived lives not quite full and then divorced. One day as she reminisced with her daughter-in-law about how she longed to find him again, to hear his voice, just to know he was doing well – happily married somewhere with two or three kids or however his life had turned out … And her daughter-in-law said “Why not find him on the internet?”And she did.The next day he left and drove over a thousand miles to spend the holiday with her and her family. As soon as he walked up to her she knew. She knew she had never loved another man the way she had loved this one. She knew she would never love another one the way she still loved him either. And he knew too.Late that night after everyone else had gone to bed, they sat out on her deck, the sound of crickets and night creatures singing on the soft summer breeze from the woods behind her house as they talked until the wee hours of morning about love, about life.Sometimes we pursue love with such diligence, with such determination and it seems so elusive to us. We seem to find everything but real love. We find people not right for us, love not deep enough or that doesn’t satisfy and relationships that don’t fulfill us. And then one day, there it is in all its glory, standing before us, and we find we had it all along and didn’t even know it. Someone in our present or someone from our past – and we realize that love has crept into the shadowy recesses of our hearts and taken over our thoughts without us realizing it was there. Instead of us pursuing it, it actually pursued us.Sometimes to find something, we just need to stop looking so hard for it. Sometimes we just need to get about the business of living and being who we were created to be, and it will come to us. When we stop building castles in the sky, constructing perfect lives in the imaginations of our hearts, it shows up.
They were married last July in a fairy tale wedding with all of nature as their backdrop. The last of the sun’s rays reflected softly off the lake behind them. Even the lake seemed to stand still in anticipation as at last they said I Do. The soft glow radiating from each of them said it all. They found it. Love that lasts a lifetime. Love that is there when you laugh and when you cry. A love with shared values, shared goals, a true sharing of life. Love that never dies.
“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Posted by Glynda Lomax at 7:21 PM 1 comments
Labels: About Life.....Love That Never Dies
Newer Posts Older Posts Home
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Glynda Lomax
Author of About Life.....
Copyright
All content on this blogspot site is copyrighted by the Author of About Life..... No content on this site may be reproduced or republished without the express permission of the author. For permission, please email the Author at glyndalomax@gmail.com.
Blog Archive
▼ 2009 (6)
▼ January (6)
▼ Jan 11 (1)
About Life.....Love That Never Dies
► Jan 04 (1)
About Life.....The Conflict of Character
► Jan 02 (4)
About Life.....When Life Doesn't Follow Your Plans...
About Life.....The Thought That Counts
About Life.....Warming the Heart of Another
About Life.....Setting An Example
► 2008 (77)
► November (6)
► Nov 30 (1)
About Life.....Angels of Hope
► Nov 24 (1)
About Life.....Simplicity
► Nov 21 (1)
About Life.....Giving Out of Need
► Nov 17 (1)
About Life.....Angels of Comfort
► Nov 10 (1)
About Life.....Unseeing
► Nov 03 (1)
About Life.....Everyday Kindness
► October (6)
► Oct 28 (1)
About Life.....Distractions Along the Journey
► Oct 20 (1)
About Life.....Grandma Minnie's Roses
► Oct 15 (1)
About Life.....The Candy Mug
► Oct 06 (1)
About Life.....Uncertainty
► Oct 04 (2)
About Life.....Real Friends
About Life.....Going From Paycheck to Purpose
► September (5)
► Sep 30 (1)
About Life.....A Lifetime of Difference
► Sep 22 (1)
About Life.....Dry Seasons
► Sep 15 (1)
About Life.....Everything Looks Different
► Sep 11 (1)
About Life.....Running Past The Red Flags
► Sep 04 (1)
About Life.....You Never Know Who You're Talking T...
► August (60)
► Aug 28 (1)
About Life.....Accepting Compliments
► Aug 21 (1)
About Life.....Afraid to Step Out
► Aug 19 (2)
About Life.....Giving
About Life …… Courtesy: Not Common Among Cell Phon...
► Aug 14 (1)
About Life.....Super Powers
► Aug 13 (55)
About Life.....Dreams
About Life.....Living Every Moment of Your Life
About Life.....Busyness
About Life.....Making A Home
About Life.....Making the Time
About Life.....Friends That Subtract
About Life.....Friends That Add
About Life.....Sudden Tragedy
About Life.....Honoring Our Elderly
About Life.....The Effect of Criticism
About Life.....The Gift of the Heart
About Life.....The Gift of Teachers
About Life.....Labeling Others
About Life.....Blaming Parents
About Life.....Self-Discipline
About Life.....Loneliness During the Holidays
About Life.....Today's Gifts
About Life.....Listening
About Life.....The Best Thanksgiving Yet
About Life.....How to Make Friends and Keep Them
About Life.....Compassion
About Life.....Adversity
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