Seems as if I've been gone from home for months now, I guess in actuality I have. I think I was "home" a total of 9 days from June up to this last week. Yes, it's been seriously neglected.
Between vacations, family reunions, holidays and more family get together and a temporary job assignment, I've been busy. I'm happy to be home, to get to sleep in my bed and attend to some long put off stuff.
My next immediate need is a new job, a new career. Working on the resume yesterday and today, I realized that to obtain the next step in my career only required rewording the job titles I have carried this far. Not a lie, mind you, it was total truth, it just sometimes depends how you speak things.
So I'm speaking things now. I guess that's what I decided today. And after I realized what the change in wording did to my resume, I looked to see whereever else I could apply that in my life.
I dont know exactly the words and I certainly dont want to speak the wrong ones so I think I'll ponder on the right placement of words before I start walking around chanting.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Commitment
It's been so long since I've wrote I often wonder if I still can. But tonight I want to touch on commitment and what it means to each of us as individualts.
I grew up in a home that was determined that I would get a education. I understood that neither of my parents were educated people, even at a young age. And some part of me appreciated, or totally accepted that going to school and receiving an education was going to part of my life, regardless of how many times I tried to rebel.
Then again, I have to touch on that. I was a rebel at heart. I can't explain, I can't justify it, I just was. But did I get an education, yes I did?
I did the minimal to get out of high school, but once "I" decided to start college, it was then my money and my failure. I dont think I realized how smart I was until college, but doing nothing less than my best was not acceptable. Three kids at home, a full time job and college is hard to conquer. The rebel in me kept me going. When life handed me things I could no longer handle emmotionally, I relented to my heart. But as bad as that may sound, I needed that healing time and I probably excelled more after that than any other period of my life. I found "me", and believe me I was "lost", completely and absolutely LOST.
Since that period in my life I'm not sure I've ever relented again, though there were many times in my life it didn't feel like I was conquering or achieving, I do believe I was. I committed to do what it took to get those kids raised and to be great adults. And though they are far from perfect, I'd compare them to anyone else's in a heartbeat.
So I found in my 30's that commitment come easy to me, it was a matter of applying yourself to the situation you wished to be committed to. It didn't always meaning giving your all, it didn't mean that everything was perfect, and most of all it didn't necessarily mean that you had to give up who you were, it meant to never quit. To never run, walk or turn away, but to face the matter head on with the knowledge that you "could" and "would" do this, whatever the situation was.
Being committed has come easy to me in the later part of my life, my jobs, my family, my children, and any decision I tried to make. Though I may not have the life that most of us have dreamed of or wanted, I've mostly excelled in my life but only because I chose to never give up.
I grew up in a home that was determined that I would get a education. I understood that neither of my parents were educated people, even at a young age. And some part of me appreciated, or totally accepted that going to school and receiving an education was going to part of my life, regardless of how many times I tried to rebel.
Then again, I have to touch on that. I was a rebel at heart. I can't explain, I can't justify it, I just was. But did I get an education, yes I did?
I did the minimal to get out of high school, but once "I" decided to start college, it was then my money and my failure. I dont think I realized how smart I was until college, but doing nothing less than my best was not acceptable. Three kids at home, a full time job and college is hard to conquer. The rebel in me kept me going. When life handed me things I could no longer handle emmotionally, I relented to my heart. But as bad as that may sound, I needed that healing time and I probably excelled more after that than any other period of my life. I found "me", and believe me I was "lost", completely and absolutely LOST.
Since that period in my life I'm not sure I've ever relented again, though there were many times in my life it didn't feel like I was conquering or achieving, I do believe I was. I committed to do what it took to get those kids raised and to be great adults. And though they are far from perfect, I'd compare them to anyone else's in a heartbeat.
So I found in my 30's that commitment come easy to me, it was a matter of applying yourself to the situation you wished to be committed to. It didn't always meaning giving your all, it didn't mean that everything was perfect, and most of all it didn't necessarily mean that you had to give up who you were, it meant to never quit. To never run, walk or turn away, but to face the matter head on with the knowledge that you "could" and "would" do this, whatever the situation was.
Being committed has come easy to me in the later part of my life, my jobs, my family, my children, and any decision I tried to make. Though I may not have the life that most of us have dreamed of or wanted, I've mostly excelled in my life but only because I chose to never give up.
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