Are you gonna do it?

I can't really say if I've actually met that middle age status of life....I'm positive some would say I have, yet I don't feel the age that I actually am. As a child, I had dreams, as a teenager I played with the dreams and as an adult, I set the goals to reach those dreams. I'm so close to the actual goals that within a finger count of years I could call success on them.

To accomplish this, I've had to stay open to what I would and wouldn't do, but never sacrificing who I was or what I stood for. I've had to work hard, I've had to stay determined and I've most definitely had to sacrifice. I didn't have the luxury of anyone helping me, promoting me and sometimes, not even pushing or supporting me. So as I'm quickly approaching that day, I have immense fear. Fear that someone else or something else, might have control in delaying that process.

After a life long of Food and Beverage experience, after 32 years of climbing that ladder and accomplishing what I had to accomplish, I changed careers to a riskier investment in my retirement. OIl & Gas, I've been a landman for 6 years, I've made it through a crash and am going strong now. Like I said I'm a finger count from reaching goals I set. But each single time, I hear of someone that can't find work in this field, I cringe. I hurt for them and I feel bad, but deep inside I worry that at some point, I'll be the person that is making that call looking for work. All I can do is pray, I suppose (And believe me, I do plenty of that)

In fact, being an oil field brat brings me the luxury of that hateful ole "gut feeling"....I have it now. I've acknowledged it and I'm prepared for it. I'm a huge believer in the "plan B" and I am now currently working on that. I appreciate this industry, I know this industry and I believe I've made a name for myself in this industry. Which means travel (much more than the job requires now) may be in my near future, this time I'm prepared and I'm ready. When and if I get that call, I'll be ready. I'm the go-to girl and I've made myself that for a reason.

I suppose that this is everyone's push....and I suppose that if it is not, you should be thinking ahead if that's where you plan on being. I would love to be sitting out by the pool with a bahama mama in my hand and soaking up the sun on a daily basis, but for now I'll enjoy it while I can, and soon I will be able to do just that. You can too, but you have to want it, you have to get out there and do what it takes, you have to want that freedom more than you want a new car payment for the rest of your life. You have to become responsible with your life. Most importantly you have to set a goal and you have to be adamant about that goal and that goal absolutely has to be your focus, even more than all those material things that your heart craves. But most importantly, you have to have determination, a strong will and of course, a strong back. Get out there and do what "you" have to do and quit waiting for someone or something else to bring it to you!

So, I know it's been awhile and few and far between since I've wrote. Seems I was doing a whole lot of whining and very little actual writing. I can't do that and be ok.

So my writing goal is always to productive and progress, to teach, to direct...and sometimes just to inform. Never, ever do I want to be a whiner.

Some time ago, I lost the ability to form sentences without preaching or complaining. So I'm hoping this attempt shall be a new one and a better one.

After much consideration I've decided my subject of discussion tonight shall be solitude. I'm an adamant believer in solitude. Everyone that knows me, seriously knows that I need my alone time (Angie Time) I'm also a mentally healthy enough person to know that I can't live on that solitude alone. I have my mornings (please at least 20 minutes for me alone with my coffee and email) And another 20 for the afternoon.
Some people are in a permanent state of solitude....they may live with you, they may see you every single day and yet are never really present. They may consider themselves loners and even make excuses why they prefer alone time. I believe in reality that this state isn't a chosen state but instead the state they  take themselves too.
It's a state of, I dont have to put myself out there. I dont have to subject myself to the daily grind (which by the way, my friend, happens to be life) If you can't subject yourself to life in general then you most certainly will not be prepared for life in general. It's a pleasant/or not part of life but to remain mentally healthy, both are required and must be faced.
A healthy, happy life requires this....So don't close yourself off to happiness by refusing to deal with life's everyday dilemma's. There's a time for solitude, just make sure you know the right time.