This day, this week (yes i understand it's only Monday) and the past 9 years have been stressing.

For the past month, I've known that change was coming, I could feel it like I feel the changes in the weather. I also know that not all change seems good. 

Yesterday afternoon I received that message that was rumored to come but couldn't believe it would. 

I needed that person to be accountable, responsible and committed. Yes, he bailed. It wasn't a love relationship, but it was someone who if nothing else allowed me to have one day off in my 60 hour work week.

I cried last night, not out of sadness for losing that person but just for the fact that I wouldn't have that one day for just me. 

At midnight last night I awoke, and I dont mean I woke for a bathroom break or a smoke break, I knew I was done with sleeping for the day. As I lay there wondering how I would get through the day, my mind reeled with what all I would have to cover this week, on top of what I already cover. Granted, I could do it, but I have other things in my life right now that seriously need some time.

There was a moment I felt like I had to chose between motherhood to my children or motherhood to a job and realistically this is what it is. I chose to choose Angie.

The void that I was faced with this morning has now been replaced with someone who deserves it more and someone who will actually cover me so that Angie can take care of her children if need be.

Stressed was not where I needed to be, but only by being put into that choice was I able to take a stand and be who i needed to be for the people I brought to earth, and to the people who I manage. 

In spite of no sleep and a very very long day, I feel victorious and a change for the positive was always right there before my eyes!